Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph compares the number of jobs measured in millions across four sectors - manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare - from the year 1960 to 2020.
Overall, retail and healthcare department showed upward trend throughout the period whereas job positions in manufacturing sector declined significantly after reaching peak in 1980. Agriculture sector experienced decline till the end of the period.
In 1960, job market in manufacturing sector was the highest which raised remarkably from 15 million to 20 million in 1960 and then decreased steadily by the end of the period with 7 millions open positions in 2020. In contrast, retail and healthcare divisions experienced a steady increase in jobs with 6 million in retail and 3 million in healthcare and reached 16 million in 2020.
On the other hand, agriculture was the only department that experienced a gradual drop over the 60 year period falling from 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all key features of the graph, including the trends for all four sectors. You have successfully identified the main trends, such as the growth in retail and healthcare versus the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state that manufacturing 'raised remarkably from 15 million to 20 million in 1960', which is confusing as the graph shows the start point as 1960. Additionally, stating that retail and healthcare 'reached 16 million in 2020' is a generalization that does not distinguish between the two distinct final figures. More precise data extraction would improve the score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'On the other hand', and 'whereas' to link ideas effectively. The progression of information is generally clear, moving from the overview to specific details. However, the referencing is occasionally slightly mechanical, and the paragraphing could be more balanced to ensure that the comparison of the four sectors is grouped more logically. Overall, the structure is easy to follow and supports the development of your response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'upward trend', 'declined significantly', and 'gradual drop'. There are some minor errors in word choice, such as using 'department' to refer to economic sectors, which is not the most accurate term in this context. Additionally, there are some awkward phrasings, such as 'with 7 millions open positions', where the pluralization is incorrect. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, it lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'Overall, retail and healthcare department showed upward trend... whereas job positions in manufacturing sector declined...'. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, particularly with articles (e.g., 'in manufacturing sector' should be 'in the manufacturing sector') and pluralization (e.g., '7 millions'). These errors occur frequently but do not impede communication. To reach a higher band, you should focus on consistent article usage and ensuring subject-verb agreement in more complex sentences.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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