Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the the numbers of jobs in four departments of the economy( manufacturing,retail,agriculture and healthcare) in the US between the years 1960 to 2020. Units are measured in millions.
Overall, the manufacturing department remained on the top compared to other categories. The agriculture department presented lowest employments and the number of jobs remained almost same over the period.
Maximum jobs were offered in the manufacturing department, started from 15 millions in the year 1900 then increased to 20 millions in the year 1980. Furthermore, the amount of vacancies decreased gradually over the period reached to approximately 14 millions. In other hands, employment ratio in the agriculture sector was remained less above 5 millions in the year 1900 then decreased to almost 2 millions in the year 1980 and over the years fell in the same category.
The retail and agriculture departments showed a fluctuation in the numbers of jobs, the retail department contained more jobs compared to the agriculture department . Both sectors showed gradually increasing trend from almost 6 millions to 15 millions jobs in the retail department and from 2 millions to above 15 millions in the healthcare department over the years 1900 to 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors and provides a general overview. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. You mention the year 1900, but the graph clearly shows data starting from 1960. Additionally, you state that the manufacturing sector started at 15 million in 1900 and increased to 20 million in 1980, which misinterprets the timeline and the trends shown. While you attempt to make comparisons, the confusion regarding the dates and the misreading of the figures significantly impacts the accuracy of the summary. To improve, ensure you carefully check the axes and data points before writing.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices like 'Furthermore' and 'In other hands' (which should be 'On the other hand'). However, the logical progression is hindered by the factual errors mentioned in the task achievement section. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the transition between ideas feels a bit mechanical. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, logical focus that supports the overall summary.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuation', 'gradually', and 'categories'. However, there are some word choice errors, such as 'departments' instead of 'sectors' and 'amount of vacancies' when referring to the number of jobs. There are also minor errors in phrasing, such as 'remained less above'. The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the general meaning, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. Expanding your range of topic-specific collocations would be beneficial.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'the the numbers', 'remained almost same' (missing 'the'), and 'employment ratio... was remained'. These errors are frequent and occasionally distract the reader, though they do not fully impede communication. You should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Practising the construction of complex sentences will help you improve your control over grammar and punctuation, leading to more error-free sentences.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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