Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
This graph illustrates data regarding the number of jobs in millions in four different sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
The sectors which showed remarkable progress in the number of jobs would be healthcare and retail. Firstly, if we talk about healthcare sector it created lowest number of jobs in the year 1960 about 2.5 million jobs. But it showed significant growth in the year 1980 almost doubling the number of jobs to 5 million and by the year 2020 the number of jobs this field produced was about 15 million. In contrast to, if we look at the sector of retail it's condition was quite better in the 1960 because it produced about 5.2 million number of jobs. And it also showed substantial growth by the year 2020 by producing about 15 million jobs.
Furthermore, the sector of manufacturing produced 15 million jobs in the year 1960 and it experienced considerable growth in the year 1980 by producing about 20 million jobs. And it faced sharpest decline by the year 2020 by producing about 13 million jobs.
Lastly, if we talk about the agriculture sector it produced about 5.2 million jobs in the year 1960 and it declined substantially by the year 2020 by producing about 2 million jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends such as the growth in healthcare and retail and the decline in agriculture. However, the overview is missing. An IELTS Task 1 response must include a clear summary of the main trends or differences at the beginning or end of the report. While the data is generally accurate, the lack of an overview prevents the response from reaching a higher band. The comparison between sectors is present but could be more integrated to highlight the relative performance of the four sectors more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response is logically organized into paragraphs, with each sector receiving its own focus or being grouped appropriately. Cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'In contrast to', 'Furthermore', and 'Lastly' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or grammatically awkward, such as 'In contrast to, if we look at...'. The referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words rather than relying on simple sequence markers.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, with terms like 'remarkable progress', 'significant growth', and 'sharpest decline' used to describe the trends. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'it's condition was quite better' (should be 'its condition was better') and 'the number of jobs this field produced was about'. The range is sufficient to convey the main points, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, including missing articles ('the healthcare sector'), incorrect preposition usage ('in the year 1960' is often better as 'in 1960'), and awkward phrasing ('the number of jobs in millions'). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. The control over punctuation and sentence structure is generally acceptable but lacks the consistency needed for a Band 7.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.