Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the number of jobs in manufacturing industry is declined steadily ,however, in retail and agriculture sectors job opportunities were risen.
At the fleeting glance, during 1960, the highest job opportunities were available, almost 20 million in manufacturing industry. Followed by, in 2000, more then 15 million jobs were available in manufacturing industry. However, the lowest number of job opportunities were in health care sector, approximately 3 million.
Moving ahead, in healthcare sector, the count of jobs were same in 1960 and 2000, about 3.3 million. Moreover, in retail sector, the count of job opportunities were near about 10 million during 1960 and its number was increased in 2000 and turn to 15 million. Furthermore, the number of jobs were almost 5 million in agriculture industry during 1960.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response identifies the main trends for the sectors, but the analysis is incomplete. You have focused primarily on 1960 and 2000, failing to describe the full period up to 2020. Additionally, the data points selected are sometimes inaccurate or poorly presented, such as the claim that the healthcare sector remained the same between 1960 and 2000. To improve, ensure you cover the entire timeframe provided in the graph and select key data points that represent the overall trends rather than listing isolated figures. The overview is present but lacks sufficient detail regarding the overall trajectory of the four sectors.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused. Phrases like 'At the fleeting glance' and 'Moving ahead' are not appropriate for an academic report. The logical progression between sentences is sometimes weak, making the transition between ideas feel abrupt. To improve, use more natural linking words such as 'In contrast', 'Furthermore', or 'Subsequently' to connect your ideas more fluidly and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic phrases like 'number of jobs' and 'job opportunities'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'manufacturing industry is declined' (should be 'has declined') and 'turn to 15 million' (which is not standard academic phrasing). To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise terminology related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a significant surge', and ensure you use the correct parts of speech.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('the number of jobs... were', 'job opportunities were risen') and incorrect tense usage. The sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at more complex sentences often contain errors. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and the correct use of passive voice, which is essential for describing data in Task 1. Proofreading for common errors like 'more then' (should be 'more than') will also help improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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