Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The provided graph illustrate the details about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in US between 1960 to 2020.

Overall, at the first glance, it is seen clearly, jobs in the Retail and healthcare sectors continuosly increased, whereas, Agriculture remained lower demand all over the period. Meanwhile, Manufacturing showing both trend increasing and decreasing.

Now, turning in details, in 1960, Manufacturing was most populer with 15 millions jobs, and this figures five millions increased next two decades after that it showed declined phase and end at 13millions in year 2020. Moreover, Agriculture fields also faced the decreased trend 5millions working field in 1960,it continuesly decline throughout the periods and dropped at 2millions in 2020.

Moving ahead, in 1960, Retail, and Healthcare hold the 6, and 2 millions jobs, respectively. Furthermore, they both dramatically increased in the next sixty years, and stand with highest jobs position at 16 millions in the year 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in Retail and Healthcare and the decline in Agriculture. However, the overview is slightly weak; while it mentions the trends, it lacks a clear summary of the most significant changes or the final standing of the sectors. The data reporting is generally accurate, but there are some minor inaccuracies in the figures cited (e.g., stating Manufacturing reached 13 million in 2020, which is close but could be more precise). The response effectively selects key features but could benefit from a more analytical approach to the comparisons between sectors.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Meanwhile', 'Moreover', and 'Moving ahead', though some transitions feel slightly mechanical or forced. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the referencing is occasionally awkward, such as 'this figures five millions increased next two decades'. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different trends, which helps the reader follow the information provided.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, with terms like 'sectors', 'dramatically', and 'respectively'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'populer' (spelling), 'declined phase', and 'Agriculture fields also faced the decreased trend'. The student attempts to use some less common vocabulary, but the lack of precision in collocation limits the score. Improving the accuracy of word forms and collocations would significantly enhance the quality of the writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('The provided graph illustrate'), missing articles ('in US'), and incorrect verb tenses or forms ('Manufacturing showing', 'it continuesly decline'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable and suggest a lack of control over complex structures.

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