Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in the four sectoes of the economy in United States Of America between 1960 to 2020.

Overall, manufacturing sector had the highest number of jobs in 1960, but the figure had experienced mostly downward trend in future, as agriculture sector. Healthcare, on the other hand, recorded the lowest number of jobs in 1960. In contrast, retail sector had seen a constant growth throughout the period.

However, manufacturing sector had the highest jobs in 1960 at approximately 15 million, but the figure had its peak at 20 million in 1980, before steadily falling and finishing at approx 12 million in 2020. Moreover, healthcare had started with the lowest amount of jobs at 3 million in 1960, afterwards it then steadliy increase to approx 16 million in 2020 with the most number of jobs.

Futhermore, retail, had also followed the same trend as healthcare. retail had started with 6 million then it constantly rose and finisihing at 16 million with healthcare in 2020. In contrast, agriculture had shown a constant downward trend and finishing at 3 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as noting the contrast between the growth in healthcare/retail and the decline in agriculture/manufacturing. However, there are some inaccuracies in your reporting of the data; for instance, you stated that manufacturing had the highest number of jobs in 1960, but the graph shows it was actually the retail sector or agriculture depending on the specific year, and your description of the manufacturing peak is slightly imprecise. To improve, ensure you double-check the data points against the graph to avoid factual errors.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is logically organized into clear paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs that group the sectors by their trends. You use some cohesive devices like 'In contrast', 'Moreover', and 'Furthermore' to link ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the flow is slightly disjointed, such as the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs. The referencing is generally clear, but the structure could be more sophisticated to achieve a higher band score.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the trends, using terms like 'downward trend', 'constant growth', and 'steadily increasing'. However, there are several spelling errors ('sectoes', 'steadliy', 'finisihing', 'Futhermore') and some awkward phrasing, such as 'the most number of jobs'. To reach a higher band, you should aim for more precise collocations and ensure your spelling is accurate. Expanding your vocabulary to include more varied ways to describe trends, such as 'plummeted', 'surged', or 'remained stable', would also be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the manufacturing sector', 'the retail sector') and verb tenses ('had experienced', 'had started'). Some sentences are slightly clunky, such as 'the figure had its peak at 20 million in 1980'. Improving your control over articles and ensuring consistent tense usage when describing historical data will significantly enhance the quality of your writing.

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