Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The rendered line graph tracks the data about the number of jobs in different four areas of the economy in the America between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, it is lucid that the mostly people prefered the manufacturing jobs, likewise retail whereas the least choosen sector of work was agriculture. The netural area of job was of agriculture with a minimum difference with retail.
To begin with, in the initial year 1960, 15 million people in favour of manufacturing department with highest economy while retail and healthcare were at same position 5 million with a tiny difference at agriculture. In 1980, a surprisingly downfall can be seen in manufacturing from 20million to 16million, meanwhile dominant incline was of retail and healthcare.
Moving furthermore, in 2000 year, retail and healthcare growing significantly till 2020 and reached at the highest position of 16 million employers in this sector. Agriculture remained constant throughout the period at 2million people, manufacturing downfall continued and came at 13 million people.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response provides a general overview and identifies some key trends, such as the growth of retail and healthcare and the decline of manufacturing. However, the report lacks precision in data reporting. For instance, the statement that retail and healthcare were at the 'same position 5 million' in 1960 is not supported by the graph, and the description of the trends is often vague. The overview is somewhat confusing, as it incorrectly identifies agriculture as the least chosen sector while simultaneously calling it a 'neutral area'. To improve, ensure that the data points are accurately transcribed and that the overview clearly highlights the most significant trends without contradictory statements.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'Moving furthermore' and 'in the initial year 1960'. The logical progression between sentences is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing, such as the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs. While there is an attempt to use linking words, they are not always used appropriately to connect ideas smoothly. Improving the variety and accuracy of cohesive devices will help the flow of the report significantly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. There are several instances of word-choice errors that impede clarity, such as 'lucid' used incorrectly to mean 'clear', 'mostly people' instead of 'most people', and 'in favour of manufacturing department'. Phrases like 'surprisingly downfall' and 'netural area' are also non-standard. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using more precise terminology related to trends, such as 'fluctuation', 'steady', or 'significant increase', and ensure that collocations are natural. The current vocabulary is just sufficient to convey the basic meaning but lacks the precision required for higher bands.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally make the meaning difficult to follow. Examples include 'the mostly people prefered', 'retail and healthcare were at same position', and 'in 2000 year'. There is a lack of control over basic sentence structures, and the use of articles and prepositions is inconsistent. While there is an attempt to use complex structures, they are often faulty, such as 'retail and healthcare growing significantly till 2020 and reached at the highest position'. Focusing on basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and correct tense usage will help improve the accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.