Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph provides information regarding the number of jobs in millions across four different sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the number of employments in retail and heathcare category followed an upward trend and making it popular career choices among job holders, whereas the number of jobs in manufacturing and agriculture experienced a downward trend throughout the period. While agriculture received less attention from employer in every year.

Firstly, with regard to healthcare it started at much lower number, with approximately 3 millions jobs in the year of 1960. By 1980, this category showed a slight growth to 5 millions jobs. Thereafter, healthcare sector showed a remarkable incline and reached a peak of almost 16 millions jobs in 2020. In contrast, in manufacturing sector, this category stood at with 15 millions jobs by the year of 1960 and rose to 20 millions the year onward. Then the category started dropping and plunged to 13 millions jobs in 2020.

In terms of retail and agriculture, these figures commended at the same number, with about 6 millions jobs for each and followed opposite directions. The number of jobs in agriculture fell gradually throughout the years and stood at only with 2 millions jobs in 2020. While the figure for retail sector surged to 15 millions jobs in 2000 and then remained stable, at with 16 millions jobs by 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends effectively. You successfully highlighted the upward trajectory of healthcare and retail, contrasted with the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. The overview is clear and provides a good summary of the data. However, the analysis could be improved by ensuring data points are more precise; for instance, stating 'almost 16 million' is good, but ensure all figures are consistently accurate to the graph. The final sentence of the overview is a fragment and slightly awkward, which slightly impacts the clarity of your summary. Overall, you have addressed the requirements of the task well by selecting and reporting the main features.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'Thereafter', and 'In terms of' to guide the reader through the data. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or misused, such as 'While agriculture received less attention from employer in every year' which is a sentence fragment. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. Despite these minor issues, the progression of ideas is logical and easy to follow throughout the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'upward trend', 'downward trend', 'remarkable incline', and 'plunged'. There are some instances of awkward word choice and minor errors, such as 'number of employments' (should be 'number of jobs' or 'employment levels') and 'commenced at the same number' (spelled as 'commended'). While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more precise control over collocations. Expanding your range of vocabulary to include more varied ways to describe trends would help elevate your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with pluralization ('3 millions jobs' instead of '3 million jobs') and preposition usage ('at with 16 millions'). Some sentences are grammatically incomplete or contain awkward phrasing, such as 'making it popular career choices'. While these errors are noticeable, they rarely impede the reader's understanding of the data. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct usage of articles and prepositions in numerical contexts.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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