Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
the Graph describes about the how the job sector was between 1960 and 2020 in various sectors like manufacturing,retail,agriculture and healthcare.
We are going to decribe about the jobs that had a great chace in millions as increase or decrease. Firstly, talking about he manufacturing sector where started with 15 millions and had a but grouwth in job increase and then after sunddenly decrease, then followed by retail sector which started around 5 million jobs and had a greate space where graph has been contionous increasing in jobs where by 2020 10 millions jobs were opened.but unfortuneately the agriculture sectors had a vast decrease in jobs less than 5 million jobs by 2020. At last comes the healthcare during 1960 it had less than 5 million jobs by 2020 it had more than 15 million jobs .
By concluding, we understand that manufaturing and agriculture had a vast decrease in Jobs but retail and healthcare had rapidly increase in job secotor
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the overview is weak and lacks a clear summary of the overall patterns. The description of the data is somewhat inaccurate; for example, stating manufacturing had a 'but grouwth' and then a 'sunddenly decrease' is vague and does not accurately reflect the trends shown in the graph. The conclusion is also slightly contradictory, as it mentions manufacturing had a 'vast decrease' when the data shows a more complex fluctuation. To improve, focus on selecting key data points (start, end, and peaks) and ensure the overview clearly highlights the most significant trends, such as the shift from agriculture to service-based sectors.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the flow between ideas is mechanical and lacks sophistication. The use of cohesive devices is limited, relying on basic transitions like 'Firstly', 'At last', and 'By concluding'. Some sentences are poorly connected, making the progression of ideas feel disjointed. For instance, the transition between the manufacturing and retail sectors is abrupt. To improve, use a wider range of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through the data analysis.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, with several spelling errors such as 'grouwth', 'sunddenly', 'contionous', and 'manufaturing'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to describe trends precisely; for example, using 'greate space' to describe an increase is not standard academic English. There is a reliance on basic terms like 'increase' and 'decrease'. To achieve a higher band, you should incorporate more precise vocabulary for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'declined steadily', or 'surpassed'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'the Graph describes about the how', and awkward phrasing like 'had a great chace in millions'. Sentence structures are mostly simple, and there is a lack of complex sentence forms. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas and periods. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors in tense and word order.
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