Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrate about the numbers of jobs in four sectors of economy in US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the number of jobs in four sectors of economy in US between 1960 and 2000 gradually increased and decreased so some extent.The retail and health care sectors gradually increased while manufacturing and agriculture somehow decreased.
In 1960, Manufacturing increased to 15 million and in 1990 it went up to 20 million but in 2000 it started decreasing from 16 million and ended on 13 million in 2020. While retail increased to 6 million in 1960 and starting more development in 1990 up to 10 million, while in 2000 it eventually increased to 14 million and somehow stooped at 15 million in 2020. Moving towards agriculture , it was 6 million in 1960, decreased to 2 million and remained at 2 million from 1990 till 2020. Health care intend to have more development as the graph show a massive increase in this sector, this sector was 2 million in 1960, went up to 5 million in 1990, making further progress it was 11 million in 2000 and ended up to 16 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
You have successfully identified the main trends for all four sectors. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; you state that all sectors 'gradually increased and decreased', which is not true for the health care sector, which showed consistent growth. Additionally, some of your data points are imprecise or confusing, such as stating manufacturing 'increased to 15 million' in 1960 when the graph shows it starting there. To improve, ensure your overview captures the most significant differences, such as the contrast between the steady decline of agriculture and the rapid growth of health care, rather than attempting to describe every minor fluctuation.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'while' and 'in'. Some transitions are awkward, such as 'Moving towards agriculture', which feels slightly disconnected from the previous sentence. To reach a higher band, try to vary your linking words and ensure that the progression of ideas between sentences is smoother. The referencing is generally clear, but the overall flow is hindered by the lack of sophisticated cohesive links.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision required for a higher band. You rely on basic verbs like 'increased', 'decreased', and 'went up' repeatedly. Phrases like 'somehow stooped' and 'intend to have more development' are unnatural and imprecise. To improve, incorporate more specific vocabulary related to trends, such as 'plummeted', 'surged', 'remained stable', or 'fluctuated'. Avoid informal or vague phrasing to ensure your writing sounds more academic and professional.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'The graph illustrate', 'this sector were') and awkward sentence construction. You rely mostly on simple sentence structures, and attempts at more complex sentences often contain errors, such as 'in 2000 it eventually increased to 14 million and somehow stooped at 15 million in 2020'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after periods. Focusing on basic accuracy and sentence variety will significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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