Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the changes in employment levels in four economic sectors of US, Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare over the period of 60 years from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, In 1960, manufacturing had the highest number of employments meanwhile, Healthcare had the least. The retail and agriculture departments both had the same number of people employed in 1960 however, one department surged gradually and other plummeted over the period respectively.

Manufacturing was the biggest employer in 1960

with 15 million jobs and the number rose steadily over the next 20 years to reach the highest around 20 million jobs but right after that the numberof employed people started to decline over the next 4 decades where it lies around 14 million employed in 2020 on the other hand the number of jobs provided by healthcare in 1960 were around 2 or 3 million but the employment status expanded rapidly even after 6 decades it exceded the manufacturing and stand approximately at 15.3 millions employments.

On the other hand, both retail and agriculture sectors had same number of employed people approximately 6 million but retail steadily rose over the next four decades and after reaching 15 million employments in 2000 became plateau and then remained in this state and show a very little rise in the next 10 years and reached the same level as healthcare with approximately 15.3 million employments. The agriculture sectors started at 6 million employments had declined for next 20 years to reach 4 million and then remained in plateau state for next 20 years and mantained the same level. In 2020 agriculture had 4 million employed people which saw a gradual plummet go reach all time low at approximately 2 million jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all key features of the graph, including the trends for all four sectors. You successfully identified the main shifts, such as the rise of healthcare and the decline of agriculture. However, the overview is slightly confusing; you mention that retail and agriculture had the same number of employees in 1960, but the graph shows manufacturing and retail/agriculture at different points. Additionally, some data points are slightly imprecise (e.g., stating manufacturing reached 20 million when it peaked slightly lower). To improve, ensure your overview clearly highlights the most significant trends—the dramatic growth of healthcare versus the decline of manufacturing and agriculture—without getting bogged down in too many specific, potentially inaccurate figures early on.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of information. You use some cohesive devices like 'on the other hand' and 'however' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally interrupted by awkward phrasing and run-on sentences, particularly in the third and fourth paragraphs. Some transitions feel mechanical, and the referencing is sometimes unclear, such as when you refer to 'one department' and 'other' without explicitly naming them in the overview. Improving the use of cohesive devices to create smoother transitions between sentences would elevate the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'surged', 'plummeted', 'steadily', and 'plateau'. There are some instances of word-choice errors, such as 'number of employments' (employment is usually uncountable in this context) and 'exceded' (spelling error). You also use 'departments' to refer to economic sectors, which is less precise. To reach a higher band, focus on using more academic collocations and ensure accurate spelling. For example, instead of 'number of employments', use 'employment figures' or 'number of people employed'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include missing articles (e.g., 'in 4 sectors of economy'), subject-verb agreement errors, and punctuation mistakes, such as run-on sentences where multiple clauses are joined without proper conjunctions or full stops. For instance, 'the number of jobs provided by healthcare in 1960 were around 2 or 3 million' should be 'was around'. While your meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents a higher score. Focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and sentence boundary punctuation.

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