Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of opportunities in four sectors of the economy in the US between [redacted phone].

Overall, Manfacturing was the leading sector that fell drastically after its peak. Similarly, a gradual increase in jobs in retail and healthcare sector can also be observed. Whereas, Agriculture sector shows gradual decrease within this duration.

In 1960, manfacturing was the leading sector with upto 15 million jobs with a peak of 20 million opportunities in 1980 but then a steep decrease can be seen. There was a gradual decrease for agriculture sector from 6 million to 2 million in this duration.

Similarly, the retail and healthcare sector were less contributing till 1960 with 6 million and 2 million opportunities but then showed a gradual increase till 2020 with upto 16 million opportunitites each.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement score. While you have identified the main trends—such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture alongside the growth in retail and healthcare—the analysis is somewhat superficial. You have included key data points, but the lack of sufficient length means the overview and supporting details are underdeveloped. To improve, ensure you provide a more comprehensive summary of the data, including more specific comparisons between the sectors at different time intervals, and ensure you meet the minimum length requirement to fully develop your ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'Similarly', 'Whereas', and 'In 1960' to link ideas. However, the progression of ideas is somewhat mechanical, and the paragraphing could be more effective. The transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is clear, but the overall flow would benefit from a wider variety of linking words and more sophisticated referencing to connect the trends across the different sectors more fluidly.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'drastically', 'gradual increase', and 'opportunities'. However, there are recurring spelling errors, such as 'Manfacturing' (repeated twice), which detract from the professional quality of the writing. Additionally, some word choices are slightly repetitive. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary to describe trends—for example, instead of 'less contributing', you could use 'accounted for a smaller proportion of jobs'—and ensure careful proofreading to eliminate basic spelling mistakes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical inaccuracies, such as 'upto 15 million jobs' (should be 'up to') and 'retail and healthcare sector were' (should be plural 'sectors were'). The use of articles is occasionally inconsistent. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points, they occur frequently enough to limit the score. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions and articles in academic contexts.

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