Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of opportunities in four sectors of the economy in the US between [redacted phone].

Overall, Manufacturing was the leading sector that fell drastically after its peak. Similarly, a gradual increase in jobs in retail and healthcare sectors can also be observed. The agriculture sector shows a gradual decrease within this duration.

In 1960, manufacturing was the leading sector with up to 15 million jobs with a peak of 20 million opportunities in 1980 but then a steep decrease can be seen. There was a gradual decrease for the agriculture sector from 6 million to 2 million in this duration.

Similarly, the retail and healthcare sectors were less significant till 1960 with 6 million and 2 million opportunities but then showed a gradual increase till 2020 with up to 16 million opportunities each.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. While you have identified the main trends, the analysis is somewhat superficial. You have correctly highlighted the peak in manufacturing and the general trends for the other sectors, but the lack of sufficient detail means the task is only partially addressed. To improve, ensure you provide a more comprehensive overview of the data points and include more specific comparisons between the sectors throughout the period. The under-length nature of the response prevents a higher score as the information is not fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Similarly' and 'but then', which help the flow of information. However, the progression of ideas is somewhat mechanical. To reach a higher band, try to use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that the transition between sentences is smoother. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the overall structure would benefit from more sophisticated signposting to guide the reader through the data comparisons more effectively.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'drastically', 'gradual', and 'opportunities'. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly the frequent use of 'opportunities' and 'sector'. To improve, try to incorporate more varied synonyms such as 'positions', 'roles', 'workforce', or 'employment figures'. There are no significant spelling errors, and the vocabulary used is generally accurate, but it lacks the flexibility and precision required for higher bands. Expanding your range of descriptive adjectives and adverbs would also enhance the quality of your report.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is generally clear. There are some minor grammatical issues, such as 'less significant till 1960', which could be phrased more naturally as 'less significant until 1960'. Your control of tense is generally consistent, and punctuation is mostly accurate. To achieve a higher score, aim to incorporate a wider range of complex grammatical structures, such as relative clauses or passive voice, to describe the data more precisely. Most of your sentences are error-free, which is a positive aspect of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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