Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph depicts the data regarding the number of occupations in four various sectors of the economy in the US over the period 1960 to 2020.

In 1960, 15 million people works in manufacturing sectors, which showed a steep increase to 20 million in 1980. Whereas, this rapidly declined after 20 years to12 million. It was notable that the number of people worked in both retail and health care sectors exhibited a remarkable growth throughout the period which levelled up manufacturing after the year 2000, moreover grew to nearly 15 million in the year 2020. On the other hand, the workers in agriculture sector significantly fell from 6 million to 2 million at the gap of 60 years by crossing down health care after the year 1970.

To sum up, majority of the people were working in both retail and agriculture industry , whereas manufacturing and agriculture lost its glory over the time period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the overview is somewhat inaccurate; for instance, the summary states that the majority of people worked in retail and agriculture, which contradicts the data showing manufacturing and health care as significant sectors. Additionally, the description of the agriculture sector is slightly confusing, as it mentions it 'crossed down' health care, which is not clearly supported by the graph. To improve, ensure that the overview accurately reflects the most significant trends and that comparisons are precise. The data points are generally reported, but the analysis lacks the depth required for a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is organised into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'Whereas', 'On the other hand', and 'To sum up' are used to link sentences and paragraphs. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the phrase 'at the gap of 60 years'. The paragraphing is appropriate for a task of this length, and the overall structure helps the reader follow the information provided. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices more naturally.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, with some attempts at less common items like 'depicts', 'exhibited', and 'remarkable growth'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'levelled up manufacturing' and 'crossing down health care', which are not standard academic phrasing. The range is sufficient to convey the main points, but it lacks the precision and sophistication required for a higher band. Focusing on more accurate collocations related to data description would significantly enhance the quality of the writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('15 million people works', 'number of people worked') and tense inconsistencies. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points, they are frequent enough to impact the overall fluency. To improve, pay closer attention to verb forms and ensure consistent use of tenses when describing past data. Increasing the variety of complex structures while maintaining accuracy will help in achieving a higher band score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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