Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph demonstrates the details about the quantity of jobs in different areas of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall,it is clear that the highest number of jobs in manufacturing by the year of 1980.Conversely, in 2020 agriculture had least number from the remaining sectors.Health care and Retails these two economical areas had about same data in 2020.

Focusing on retail and health care as a means of economy job,these distributed 6 million and 3 million jobs ,respectively in 1960.By 1980,their figure was increase to 10 million and 5 million .

Moreover, the number of both sectores were increased following year. In 2000,retail rose to 15 million before reach to 16 million.On the other side,healthcare showed the upward trend till the last year of 2020.The figure was 16 million at the end .

As for manufacturing and agriculture, in 1960 manufacturing economy job was 15 million .It increased to 5 million after one year was about 20 million.Manufacturing job drastically droped over the year .From 15 million to 9 million .It showed the decreased data from the past.Furthermore, from 1960 onwards agriculture and retail demonstrates the identical data approximately [redacted phone].Agriculture economycal jobs shewed the decreasing trend over the years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and provides a general overview, though some data points are inaccurate or confusingly presented. For example, the claim that manufacturing peaked in 1980 is not clearly supported by the data, and the description of agriculture's decline is vague. While the main features are identified, the lack of precision in reporting figures (e.g., '15 million to 9 million' vs 'drastically droped') and some contradictory statements regarding the data trends hinder the clarity of the report. To improve, ensure that the data cited directly matches the graph and that the overview highlights the most significant trends rather than listing isolated figures.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is frequently interrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear referencing. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Moreover' and 'Conversely', but they are sometimes applied mechanically or incorrectly. The transition between sentences is often disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison between sectors. Paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs lacks a clear focus, often jumping between different sectors without a smooth thematic link. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would significantly enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. There are several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'economical areas' instead of 'economic sectors' and 'shewed' (a spelling error). The range of vocabulary is limited, relying on repetitive structures like 'the number of... was...'. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of sophisticated collocations and the presence of spelling errors (e.g., 'droped', 'sectores') limit the score. Using more precise terminology related to data trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plateaued', or 'surpassed', would improve the quality of the writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('retail and health care... these distributed'), incorrect verb tenses ('their figure was increase'), and punctuation errors (missing spaces after commas). While the meaning is usually understandable, the frequency of these errors is high. To reach a higher band, focus on consistent verb tense usage when describing past trends and ensure that sentence structures are grammatically sound. Proofreading for basic punctuation and spelling errors would also be beneficial.

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