Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The graph illustrates the information about the employees needed in four sectors of the economy in US between 1960 to 2020.
Overall, number of jobs has drastically increased in retail and health care while declined slightly in agriculture. There has been ups and downs in manufacturing field.
In year 1960 number of jobs in health care and retail were 2 million and 6 million respectively. Than reaching 5 million and 10 million respectively in 1980. With steady increase it reached 11 million and 15 million in 2000. In 2020 number of jobs in health care and retail was at 16 million each.
In 1960 the number of jobs in manufacturing and agriculture was at 15 million and 6 million each later, reaching 20 million and 4 million in 1980. Agriculture remained steady in 2000 and than reached 2 million in 2020 with small increase. On the other hand, manufacturing faced a decline reaching 17 million in 2000 and than faced more drop reaching 13 million in 2020 even less than retail and health care.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in retail and health care and the decline in agriculture. However, the analysis is somewhat mechanical, listing figures rather than synthesizing the data effectively. The overview is clear but could be more detailed regarding the comparative shifts over the 60-year period. Some data points are slightly inaccurate based on the graph (e.g., the description of agriculture in 2000), which limits the precision of the reporting. To reach a higher band, focus on grouping data more logically to highlight the most significant changes rather than providing a chronological list of every sector.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the other hand' and 'In 1960', but the flow is occasionally repetitive. The use of 'than' instead of 'then' is a recurring issue that affects the logical progression of time references. While the paragraphing is appropriate, the transition between ideas within paragraphs could be smoother to improve the overall readability and coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to describe trends using terms like 'drastically increased', 'steady increase', and 'faced a decline'. However, there is a lack of variety, and some word choices are imprecise or incorrect, such as 'employees needed' instead of 'number of jobs' or 'employment figures'. The spelling error 'than' for 'then' is persistent. To improve, the student should incorporate more sophisticated synonyms for trends and ensure accurate collocations when discussing economic data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('in US', 'in year 1960') and the misuse of 'than' instead of 'then'. Subject-verb agreement is also inconsistent, such as 'number of jobs... were' and 'number of jobs... was'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic article usage and consistent verb tense would significantly improve the accuracy of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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