Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 7.0)
The line graph shows how many people worked in four various industries of US economy from 1960 to 20220.
Overall, the number of jobs saw a decreasing trend in the agriculture and manufacturing sectors, while the reverse was true for retail and healthcare. For most of the period, manufacturing had the most number of jobs, with 15 million in 1960. But it was eventually overtaken by retail and healthcare.
In 1960, the manufacturing sector employed 15 million people, this figure was the largest in that year. Over the next two decades, this number significantly rose to a chart high of 20 million, after which it reverted to below its 1960 level 13 million jobs. Likewise, the figure for agriculture witnessed a gradual decline, halving from around 6 million jobs in 1960 to 2,5 million in 2020, far behind the remaining industries.
The other two sectors — Retail and Healthcare — bucked the above trend.
Over the given period, the retail sector almost tripled, sharply increasing from offering just over 5 million jobs in 1960 to slightly above 15 million in 2020, though the growth slowed down in the last two decades. Healthcare started off much lower at 2,5 million jobs and, sharply increasing between 1960 and 2020, converged with the retail sector at more than 15 million. As a result, both these industries surpassed manufacturing.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0
You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You highlighted the key shifts, such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture versus the growth in retail and healthcare. The data is accurately reported, and you made relevant comparisons, such as noting that retail and healthcare eventually surpassed manufacturing. The response covers all requirements of the task well. To reach a higher band, ensure that all figures are transcribed accurately; for instance, the year '20220' is a clear typo, and ensure that decimal points are formatted consistently (e.g., using a period instead of a comma for '2,5 million').
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5
The response is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. You used paragraphing effectively to separate the declining sectors from the growing ones. Cohesive devices such as 'Likewise', 'Over the given period', and 'As a result' are used appropriately to guide the reader through the analysis. The structure is clear and easy to follow. To improve further, ensure that referencing is always precise; for example, in the second paragraph, the phrase 'the reverse was true' is a good use of cohesion, but ensure that the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs remains smooth.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey information with precision. Phrases like 'bucked the above trend', 'sharply increasing', and 'converged' show a good command of academic language. There are occasional minor errors, such as 'most number of jobs' (should be 'highest number of jobs') and the inconsistent use of commas for decimals (e.g., '2,5 million'). These do not impede communication, but they do slightly affect the overall sophistication of the lexical control. Using more varied synonyms for 'jobs' or 'sectors' would further enhance the quality of your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures effectively. Most of your sentences are error-free, and your control over punctuation is generally good. There are a few minor slips, such as the comma splice in '15 million people, this figure was' and the typo '20220'. Additionally, ensure consistent formatting for numbers, as the use of '2,5' is non-standard in English academic writing. Despite these minor issues, the grammar is strong and does not hinder the reader's understanding of the data.
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