Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The provided line graph illustrates number of jobs in various sectors in a specific time period. Overall, retail and healthcare sector has experienced significant incline in 60 years time period while manufacturing and agriculture sectors has shown downfall.
In 1960 healthcare sector had around 3million jobs followed by the year 1980 with 5million jobs with a sharp increase to around 16million jobs in the year 2020. Retail sector contained approximately 6million jobs in 1960 and showed an incline trend until 2020 with around 16million jobs where both healthcare sector and retail sector meet.
Furthermore, manufacturing sector used to have high number of jobs in 1960 with almost 15million occupations followed by year 1980 with an increase around 20million positions and there is sharp decline reaching 13million jobs in the year 2020. Agriculture sector has almost 6million jobs in 1960 with a noticeable decrease reached 3millions positions in the year 2020.
In conclusion , Retail and healthcare sector has experienced a inclination trend and agriculture and manufacturing has shown declination trend for over 60 year time period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all key features of the graph, including the trends for all four sectors. The overview is clear and identifies the main patterns (growth in retail/healthcare vs. decline in manufacturing/agriculture). However, the data reporting is slightly inconsistent; for example, the description of the manufacturing sector is inaccurate, as the graph shows a peak around 1980 followed by a decline, but the student's claim that it reached 20 million is not supported by the visual data. Additionally, the comparison between sectors could be more sophisticated. To improve, ensure that data points are read more precisely and that comparisons are explicitly linked to the timeline.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The progression of ideas is generally clear, moving from the growth sectors to the declining ones. Cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore' and 'In conclusion' are used, though some transitions feel a bit mechanical. The paragraphing is appropriate, with each paragraph focusing on a specific set of trends. To reach a higher band, try to vary the cohesive devices and ensure that the relationship between sentences is more fluid, avoiding repetitive structures at the start of each paragraph.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, with terms like 'significant incline', 'downfall', and 'occupations'. However, there are some awkward word choices and inaccuracies, such as 'inclination trend' and 'declination trend', which are not standard collocations. The repetition of 'sector' and 'jobs' limits the range. To improve, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary for describing trends, such as 'upward trajectory', 'plummeted', or 'fluctuated', and avoid inventing non-standard nouns like 'declination' when 'decline' is sufficient.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'retail and healthcare sector has experienced' should be 'have experienced') and missing articles (e.g., 'in 60 years time period'). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, pay closer attention to pluralization and article usage, and try to incorporate a wider variety of complex sentence structures, such as using relative clauses or participial phrases to combine information.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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