Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

There are four main sectors of economy in US , [redacted phone]. These are Manufacturing , Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare.

In Manufacturing is a most popular business in that century it give millions of jobs to the people in US and help to boost the economy. It went go till 2000 and start dropping the jobs to 12 millions but it is the best in all of them

In Retail the jobs are are good and they are giving huge amounts on jobs to increase the economy of US.It is a second largest sector that helps the economy of US.

In Agriculture there are millions of farmers who worked hard and increased the economy of US. The farmers are also known as the backbone of any country because it is the main sector of there economy but the agriculture is at last number and not much good.

The last one is healthcare sector in US economy and they worked so much

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to accurately report the data presented in the graph. You have not identified the main trends or made meaningful comparisons between the sectors. The description of the data is vague (e.g., 'it went go till 2000') and lacks specific figures or time-period references. Furthermore, the response includes inaccurate information not supported by the graph, such as the claim that manufacturing was the 'most popular' throughout the entire century. To improve, you must focus on reporting the actual numbers and identifying clear trends, such as the decline in agriculture or the growth in healthcare, rather than providing subjective commentary.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is weak. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link sentences and ideas together, making the text feel like a list of disjointed observations. The referencing is often unclear, and the transition between the different sectors is abrupt. To improve, use linking words such as 'in contrast', 'furthermore', or 'meanwhile' to show the relationship between the data points. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates back to the overall trend of the graph.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive. You rely on basic phrasing such as 'most popular', 'good', and 'worked hard', which does not demonstrate the range required for an Academic Task 1 response. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'at last number' and 'giving huge amounts on jobs'. To achieve a higher band, you need to use more precise terminology related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', 'experienced a downward trend', or 'surpassed'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are significant issues with verb tense consistency (e.g., 'it give', 'it went go', 'they worked so much'), subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or lack proper punctuation. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and ensuring that your verb tenses are consistent when describing past data. You should also practice using complex sentence structures, such as relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions, to improve the variety and accuracy of your writing.

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