Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the graph of number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, [redacted phone], the manufacturing sector is leading from 1960 with 15 million jobs, which then took a rise in 1980 to 20 million jobs, followed by gradual decline in job sector.

The healthcare sector started with 2-3 million jobs and gradually rose up to 15 million jobs from [redacted phone]. The retail sector started with above 5 million jobs in 1980 and picked up gradually up to 15 million jobs in the 2000, it is leading side by side with the healthcare sector. The agriculture sector started strong with more than 5 million jobs in 1960, though it has gradually declined to less than 5 million since, it is the least employed sector in 2020 according to the given chart. The healthcare, manufacturing, and retail sectors intersected with each other between the year 2000 to 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors mentioned in the graph, but the analysis is somewhat superficial. While you identify the starting and ending points, you fail to provide a clear overview or highlight the most significant trends, such as the overall growth of healthcare compared to the decline of agriculture. Some data points are imprecise, such as stating the retail sector started in 1980 when the graph shows data from 1960. To improve, ensure you include a clear introductory overview and focus on comparing the sectors rather than just listing individual data points for each one.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The transition between sentences is often mechanical, and the use of cohesive devices is limited. For example, the final sentence attempts to link the sectors but does so in a way that is slightly confusing. The paragraphing is also unbalanced, with the first paragraph being quite short and the second containing the bulk of the information. Using more varied linking words such as 'in contrast', 'meanwhile', or 'subsequently' would help improve the flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision required for a higher band. Phrases like 'took a rise' and 'picked up gradually' are acceptable but somewhat informal. You rely on repetitive structures, such as 'started with' and 'gradually rose/declined'. To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a sharp increase'. Additionally, ensure your terminology is accurate when describing economic data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. For instance, 'the manufacturing sector is leading from 1960' should be 'led from 1960' or 'has led since 1960'. There are also issues with article usage and prepositional phrases, such as 'in the 2000' instead of 'in 2000'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to affect the overall clarity of your report. Focus on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage when describing past data.

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