Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
This graph gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the United States between 1960 and 2020 . In 1960 to 1980 there are 15 million to 20 million in manufacturing sector and slowly decreasing from 20 million to 17 million in 1980 to 2000 and keep decreasing from 17 million to 13 million .
The other sector is Retail sector it start from 6 million in 1960 and keep ongoing .In 1980 the jobs are 10 million and in 2000 the retail sector jobs increase from 10 million to 15 million and keep moving upwards 10 million to 11 million till 2020 .
The next one is Agricultural sector jobs .The agricultural sector start from 6 million in 1960 and moving downwards to 3 million and in 2000 the agricultural sector jobs remain same in 2020 the agricultural job jump down from 3 to 2 million . The last one sector is health-care sector jobs .
The health sector jobs start from 6 to 11 million from 1960 to 1990 and its moving upwards from 11 million to 15 million .In 2000 the health care sector face same crisis and hold its position and increase only one million jobs till 2020 .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors mentioned in the graph, but the reporting of data is inconsistent and lacks a clear overview. While you identify the main trends, the description is often repetitive and lacks analytical comparison. For example, you describe the manufacturing sector's decline in three separate segments rather than summarizing the overall trend. Furthermore, the lack of a clear summary or 'overview' paragraph makes it difficult for the reader to grasp the main features at a glance. To improve, focus on grouping trends (e.g., sectors that increased vs. those that decreased) and ensure the overview highlights the most significant changes across the entire period.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression within them is weak. You rely heavily on repetitive sentence structures, such as 'The [sector] sector start from...', which makes the flow mechanical. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link ideas; for instance, you use 'The other sector is...' and 'The next one is...' repeatedly, which feels simplistic. To improve, use a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'In contrast,' 'Conversely,' 'Meanwhile') to show the relationship between the data points. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to guide the reader through the information.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic verbs like 'start', 'moving', 'increase', and 'decreasing'. There is little attempt to use more precise academic vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a sharp decline'. Some word choices are also slightly unnatural, such as 'jump down' or 'keep ongoing'. To reach a higher band, try to vary your verbs and nouns to describe the data more accurately and professionally. Using synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' will significantly improve the quality of your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, particularly regarding verb tense and subject-verb agreement. For example, you write 'In 1960 to 1980 there are 15 million' (should be 'were') and 'The agricultural sector start' (should be 'started'). Additionally, sentence structures are mostly simple, with very few attempts at complex sentences. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some missing spaces after periods. To improve, focus on maintaining a consistent past tense when describing historical data and practice using complex structures like relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions to combine your ideas more effectively.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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