Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The given line graph illustrates information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, retail and healthcare trend was upward and manufacturing and agricultural trend was downward.
At the fleeting glance over the given details, in the initial year jobs of manufacturing was highest noticed that 15 millions while least was healthcare seen that 2 millions. In the final year maximum jobs was retail and healthcare noticed at upward 15 millions.
Moving further, in the year 1980 jobs of manufacturing was stood at 20 millions after contiou
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. Because the essay is incomplete and cuts off mid-sentence, it does not fully address the task requirements. While you have identified some main features, such as the upward and downward trends, the analysis is underdeveloped and lacks the necessary detail to provide a comprehensive summary of the data. To improve, ensure you complete the task by covering all sectors across the entire time period and provide a more thorough comparison of the data points.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into short paragraphs, but the logical flow is interrupted by the incomplete nature of the text. Cohesive devices are used in a very basic and sometimes mechanical way, such as 'Moving further' and 'At the fleeting glance'. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the lack of a completed conclusion or full body paragraphs makes it difficult to follow the progression of ideas. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, fully developed focus.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying on basic terms like 'highest', 'least', and 'upward'. There are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'fleeting glance over the given details' and 'jobs of manufacturing was stood at'. These errors occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. To improve, try to incorporate more precise vocabulary related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable', and work on using more natural phrasing when describing trends.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'jobs of manufacturing was highest') and article usage. The sentence structures are simple and often awkward, and the incomplete final sentence demonstrates a lack of control over complex structures. There are also issues with punctuation and word order. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that subjects and verbs agree, and practice using a wider range of sentence structures accurately.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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