Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The given chart illustrates how the economy changed in different jobs in four fields of the US over the period from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is clearly evident that there was an upward trend in Retail sector throughout the year. Furthermore, the healthcare sector recorded the highest figure while manufacturing fluctuated downward in whole period.
In 1960, the retail sector starting from 6 millions jobs, it with grew till 2000. Similarly, healthcare sector continued increasing with 4 million jobs and both ended the period at 16 million jobs in 2020.
In contrast, manufacturing experienced considerable fluctuations, as it started from 15 million jobs and rose in first two decades and then there was an downward trend till the final year. Whereasmanufacturing which remain stable at 7 millions of job in 2020. Whereas, jobs in agriculture department climbed from 6 millions in 1960 and finished the priod at 2 milllion jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response provides a general overview and identifies key trends, such as the growth in the retail sector and the decline in agriculture. However, the data reporting is inaccurate and confusing. For instance, stating that both retail and healthcare ended at 16 million is not supported by standard interpretations of such graphs, and the description of manufacturing is contradictory, mentioning both a downward trend and a stable figure of 7 million. The summary lacks precision in data selection, and the failure to accurately report the figures provided in the prompt limits the score. To improve, ensure that the data points cited are clearly linked to the specific years and categories shown in the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, the use of 'Whereas' at the start of a sentence followed by a sentence fragment ('Whereas manufacturing which remain stable...') disrupts the flow. Additionally, the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is somewhat abrupt. While there is a logical attempt to group information by sector, the internal cohesion within paragraphs is weakened by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, making the progression of ideas feel disjointed at times.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is limited and repetitive. The student relies on basic terms like 'jobs', 'sector', and 'increased'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'agriculture department' instead of 'agricultural sector' and 'in whole period' instead of 'throughout the entire period'. Some phrasing is unnatural, such as 'starting from 6 millions jobs'. To reach a higher band, the student should aim to use more precise terminology related to trends, such as 'witnessed a steady climb', 'experienced a sharp decline', or 'remained relatively constant', and ensure correct pluralisation of units like 'million'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('manufacturing which remain stable'), sentence fragments ('it with grew till 2000'), and incorrect preposition use ('in whole period'). The range of structures is limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences with some attempts at complex structures that are often flawed. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the misuse of commas and the inclusion of unnecessary spaces. A greater focus on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would significantly improve the accuracy of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.