Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the data about the amount of jobs in Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare sectors in the US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the leading sector in economy of the United States in 1960 was Manufacturing, but with time declined significantly until 2020. While the jobs in Healthcare sector were lowest among all in 1960, but steadily increased and reached its peak in 2020, matching the amount of jobs with Retail sector in 2020. Meanwhile, jobs in Agricultural sector declined, and hit its lowest number of jobs in 2020.

In 1960, two sectors played a major role in the US economy, Manufacturing and Agriculture. There were about 15 million jobs in manufacturing in 1960, and later peaked to 20 million jobs in 1980. Afterwards, jobs in this sector started to decline steadily and were about less than 15 million in 2020. While jobs in Agriculture sector were just over 5 million in 1960. But this number substantially decreased to approximately 2-3 million jobs in 1980 and relatively remained stable until 2000 but started to decline again its lowest number of jobs about 1 million in 2020.

Meanwhile, there were increase in number of jobs in Retail and Healthcare. Jobs in healthcare sector were lowest among others, around 1-2 million in 1960s. But this number increased to 5 million jobs in 1980. And the rise in number of jobs was significant, and hit the highest in 2020 just over 15 million jobs. Moreover, Retail started just over 5 million jobs in 1960, and gradually increased to 10 million in 1980. In 2000, around 15 million jobs in retail and hit its peak in 2020 with just over 15 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response successfully identifies the main trends and provides a clear overview of the data. You have selected key features, such as the decline of Manufacturing and the growth of Healthcare and Retail. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reporting; for instance, you mention Manufacturing peaked at 20 million in 1980, whereas the graph shows it peaking closer to 1970. Additionally, the statement that Agriculture remained stable until 2000 is not fully supported by the visual evidence. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are read with greater precision and that comparisons between sectors are more consistently integrated throughout the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'Meanwhile,' 'Afterwards,' and 'Moreover' to link ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are instances where the flow between sentences could be smoother. For example, the transition between the discussion of Manufacturing and Agriculture in the third paragraph is a bit abrupt. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the trends, which helps the reader follow the development of your argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information clearly. Phrases like 'declined significantly,' 'steadily increased,' and 'remained stable' are appropriate for describing trends. There are some minor issues with word choice, such as 'amount of jobs' (should be 'number of jobs') and 'hit its lowest number of jobs' (which is slightly redundant). While you attempt to use some less common vocabulary, the range is adequate rather than wide. Focusing on more precise collocations for describing statistical changes would enhance your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is generally effective. However, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. For example, 'the leading sector in economy' should be 'the leading sector in the economy,' and 'there were increase' should be 'there was an increase.' Additionally, some sentences are fragmented or lack proper articles. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher band score. Increasing your control over articles and subject-verb agreement will improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.