Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the number of employment in four different sectors of economy in United States in the years of 1960 till 2020.
Overall, It is cleared that across those four sectors manufacturing is at the highest moreover agriculture is the lowest while all of the fields.
To begin with, Manufacturing is the at highest in numbers while starting 15 million jobs in 1960 then at the end in 2020 it running low almost at 12 to 13 millions. Furthermore retail jobs is start at 6 millions in numbers at the starting year then in 1980 it almost got 10 millions after that it touch the uptrend and the end of that is at least 16 millions.
Agriculture is touch the growth at the starting in 1960 the numbers is 6 millions then then down trend start in 1980 it got less than 5 millions and at the end it got almost 3 millions. Moreover the healthcare starts at the 3 millions and throughout the trend it almost the uptrend in 1980 it more than 5 millions and at the end it above then 15 millions.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying trends for all four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and contains inaccuracies. For instance, stating that manufacturing was the highest throughout the period is incorrect, as retail and healthcare both surpass it by 2020. The overview is also slightly confusing, as it claims manufacturing is the highest while agriculture is the lowest 'while all of the fields,' which is grammatically unclear and factually imprecise. To improve, ensure that data points are reported accurately and that the overview clearly highlights the most significant shifts, such as the decline in agriculture versus the growth in healthcare and retail.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the flow is often hindered by awkward phrasing and mechanical use of cohesive devices. Phrases like 'To begin with' and 'Furthermore' are used, but the logical progression between sentences is weak. The referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the sentence 'while all of the fields,' which does not connect logically to the previous clause. Paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs lacks the necessary cohesion to guide the reader smoothly through the data comparisons. More varied and precise linking words are needed to improve the overall flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying on basic structures to describe trends. There are several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'it running low' instead of 'it declined' and 'it touch the uptrend' instead of 'it showed an upward trend.' The student struggles with collocations related to data description. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the lack of precision and the reliance on simple vocabulary prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Expanding the range of verbs and nouns used to describe statistical changes would significantly enhance the quality of the writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('retail jobs is start'), incorrect verb tenses ('it touch the uptrend'), and awkward sentence construction ('it above then 15 millions'). The range of structures is limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences with some attempts at complex ones that are often faulty. Punctuation is also inconsistent. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures, ensuring correct verb forms, and proofreading for common errors like missing articles or incorrect prepositions.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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