Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
This graph illustrates the information about the jobs in four sectors of economy in the US between 1960 and 2020, this clearly shows the decline in manufacturing industries and in agriculture, however it clearly shows a massive rise in retail and healthcare.
The given graph basically shows the number of jobs in four sectors of economy in the US, [redacted phone]. In the year 1960 world see an increase in the employment in manufacturing industries around 5%, retail and healthcare
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, as it is only 79 words long. Consequently, the task is only partially addressed. The overview is incomplete, and the data description is cut off mid-sentence, preventing a full summary of the main features or relevant comparisons. To improve, you must ensure you provide a complete overview of the trends and support your summary with specific data points from the graph, ensuring the response reaches the required length.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The response is too short to demonstrate effective paragraphing or a logical progression of ideas. While there is an attempt at an introduction, the second paragraph is incomplete and lacks cohesive devices to link the data points. To improve, you should structure your response with a clear introduction, a distinct overview, and body paragraphs that group data logically, using linking words like 'whereas', 'in contrast', or 'meanwhile' to connect your observations.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, such as the repeated use of 'shows' and 'jobs'. There is no attempt to use a range of vocabulary suitable for describing trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', 'surged'). The phrasing 'world see an increase' is grammatically incorrect and unnatural. To improve, focus on learning topic-specific vocabulary for describing graphs and avoid repeating the same verbs.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The response contains several grammatical errors, such as 'sectors of economy' (missing article), 'world see' (incorrect tense/subject-verb agreement), and the run-on sentence structure in the first paragraph. The range of structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences. To improve, practice using complex sentence structures, such as relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions, and pay closer attention to articles and verb tenses.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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