Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the availability of jobs across four sectors of economy from 1960 to 2020 in US .
Overall, There is a constant increase in jobs in retail and healthcare sector in US . Manufacturing sector accounted for the highest proportion of jobs till 2020 in US .
The manufacturing sector had 15 million jobs whereas the healthcare sector had the least jobs from around 2 million in 1960 in US . Both the sectors showed an increase in number of jobs till 1980 . The healthcare sector showed an growth to around 10 million jobs while manufacturing sector recorded a decline to over 15 million in 2000 . In late 20s the healthcare sector surpassed the manufacturing sector .
The healthcare and retail sector had equivalent jobs in 2020 in US . Both the agriculture and retail sector recorded equivalent amount of jobs in 1960 . The agriculture sector remained constant till 2000 at less than 5 million while showing a slight decline in 2020 in US .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the growth in healthcare and the relative stability of agriculture. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and contains inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, stating that manufacturing accounted for the highest proportion of jobs until 2020 is contradicted by the graph, which shows healthcare overtaking it earlier. Additionally, the description of trends is occasionally confusing, such as the reference to 'late 20s' which is unclear in the context of the 1960-2020 timeline. To improve, ensure that data points are described with greater precision and that the overview clearly highlights the most significant shifts rather than just listing individual sector movements.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. Phrases like 'in US' are used excessively and often incorrectly (missing the definite article 'the'). The transition between sentences is sometimes abrupt, and the logical flow within paragraphs could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'in contrast', 'meanwhile'). While the overall arrangement is coherent, the lack of sophisticated referencing and the repetitive nature of the sentence structure limit the score.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There is a heavy reliance on basic terms like 'jobs', 'increase', and 'decline'. Some word choices are imprecise, such as 'availability of jobs' instead of 'employment figures' or 'number of jobs'. There are also minor errors in collocation, such as 'showed an growth' (should be 'showed growth' or 'an increase'). To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more varied terminology related to trends and economic data, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stagnant'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. The most notable issue is the consistent omission of the definite article 'the' before 'US' and before sector names (e.g., 'in US', 'in manufacturing sector'). There are also errors in preposition usage and sentence construction, such as 'in late 20s' and 'equivalent amount of jobs'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on article usage and subject-verb agreement will significantly improve the clarity and accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.