Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph shows the jobs included in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020. These four sectors include Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare peaking to utmost 20 million jobs over the years.
If we consider Manufacturing, it started off strong at 15 million jobs in 1960 and kept rising to 20 million by 1980. Unfortunately, since then a decrease in the number has been observed. Although, comparing to the Retail sector, it did not start on a high point but consistently showed growth till 2020, which is quite impressive.
A sector in which decrease in jobs have been observed for the longest period of time, is Healthcare. In 1960, it started at around 6 million jobs which has reduced to not more than 3 million in 2020, without any growth over the years.
Lastly, the sector which has shown number of jobs rising every year persistently is Agriculture. It started with 3 million jobs in 1960 going over to around 17 million jobs in 2020. Comparing all 4 sectors in the US, only Agriculture has shown resistance and growth without any consequences affecting number of jobs decreasing.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the task by identifying the main trends, but it contains significant factual inaccuracies regarding the data provided in the graph. For instance, you state that Healthcare decreased from 6 million to 3 million, whereas the graph shows it increasing significantly. Similarly, you claim Agriculture rose to 17 million, which contradicts the visual data. While you attempt to compare the sectors, these errors mean the information is not accurately reported. To improve, ensure you carefully verify the data points against the axes before writing. The overview is also somewhat weak, as it does not clearly highlight the most significant trends across the entire period.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with each focusing on a specific sector. There is a clear progression of ideas, and you use some cohesive devices such as 'Although', 'Lastly', and 'If we consider'. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally confusing, such as the use of 'it' when referring back to multiple potential subjects. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the overall flow could be improved by using more sophisticated linking phrases to connect the comparisons between the sectors more fluidly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'sectors', 'persistently', and 'growth'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For example, 'peaking to utmost 20 million' is unnatural; 'peaking at 20 million' would be more accurate. Additionally, 'without any consequences affecting number of jobs decreasing' is awkward and unclear. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding wordy, redundant phrases. Expanding your range of reporting verbs and adverbs would also help convey the trends more effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as the conditional 'If we consider...' and the concessive 'Although...'. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('a decrease... have been observed') and awkward phrasing ('comparing to the Retail sector, it did not start on a high point'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some minor errors, such as the unnecessary comma after 'Although'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to limit your score in this criterion.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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