Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The chart illustrates the pertaining to the number of jobs in four sectors pf the economy manufacturing . while, the us from 1960 to 2020

Overall, it can be seen that manufacturing jobs increased initially and then declined, while retail and health care experienced overall rise

In 1960, manufacturing had the highest number of jobs , at around 15 million, both at approximately 6 million. health care had the fewest jobs, with about 2 million. Manufacturing then rose to a peak of 20 million in 1980 before falling steadily to around 12 million in 2020

Retail employment increased consisstently from about 6 million in 1960 to 15 million in 2050. Similarly, healthcare jobs grew consierably,reaching approximeatly 15 million by end of the period

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly limits the depth of the analysis. While you have identified the main trends for manufacturing, retail, and healthcare, the report is incomplete. You have not mentioned the fourth sector implied by the prompt, and the overview is quite brief. The inclusion of '2050' as an end date is a factual error based on the provided graph, which only goes up to 2020. To improve, ensure you cover all data categories provided in the prompt and provide a more detailed comparison of the trends across the entire time period.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the flow is hindered by the lack of sufficient content and some awkward phrasing. The introduction is fragmented and grammatically incomplete, making it difficult to follow the initial premise. While you use some cohesive devices like 'Overall' and 'Similarly', the connection between sentences is often mechanical. The paragraphing is present, but the brevity of the response makes the overall structure feel underdeveloped. To improve, focus on creating clear topic sentences for each paragraph and using a wider variety of linking words to connect your observations more fluidly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are several spelling errors such as 'consisstently' and 'consierably'. You also use 'approximeatly' incorrectly. The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, relying on basic descriptors like 'increased' and 'fell'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise synonyms for trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'surged', or 'plummeted', and ensure that your spelling is accurate. The repetition of basic terms makes the writing feel less professional and less precise than what is expected for an Academic Task 1 response.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains several grammatical errors that impede clarity. The opening sentence is a fragment and lacks a clear subject-verb structure. There are also punctuation issues, such as unnecessary spaces before commas and missing capital letters at the start of sentences. While you attempt some complex structures, they are often marred by errors, such as 'The chart illustrates the pertaining to...'. You need to focus on basic sentence construction, ensuring every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and proofread carefully to eliminate minor slips in punctuation and capitalization that detract from your overall score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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