Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph below demonstrates the information about the four sectors of the economy and the number of jobs there in the US between the years 2960 and 1920.
Overall, during these four years, jobs in the healthcare sector in the US experienced a sharp decline, while there was a major increase in the manufacturing sector
The highest number of jobs that is 20 million was there in manufacturing in the year 1980, whereas it experienced a slight decrease in 1960 and fell from 16 million to 14 million by the year 2020. The source of income through retail indicated a significant incline and rose from 6 million to 16 million between 1960 to 2020. Furthermore, people in the agriculture field fluctuated slightly in 1960 and 1980, however climbed steadily during 2000 and 2020 by 12 million to 16 million. Lastly, there was a considerable drop in the healthcare sector as the employment declined from 6 million in 1960, 3 million in 1980 and 2 million by the year 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to accurately report the data provided in the graph. There are significant factual errors, such as stating the timeframe is '2960 and 1920' and claiming the healthcare sector experienced a 'sharp decline' when the data shows a different trend. Furthermore, the description of the manufacturing sector is contradictory, mentioning a peak of 20 million while simultaneously stating it fell from 16 to 14 million. Because the information presented does not align with the provided graph, the response fails to cover the requirements of the task effectively. To improve, you must carefully verify the data points against the visual information before writing.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs, which provides a basic structure. However, the logical progression is hindered by the factual inaccuracies mentioned above. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Furthermore' and 'Lastly', but they are sometimes used to connect ideas that are confusing or contradictory. The paragraphing is present, but the internal flow of information is disjointed due to the errors in data interpretation. To reach a higher band, ensure that your sentences follow a logical sequence that clearly compares the trends rather than just listing numbers.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, with attempts at descriptive language such as 'sharp decline', 'significant incline', and 'fluctuated'. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice, such as 'source of income through retail' to describe employment numbers. While the range is sufficient to convey basic meaning, the inaccuracies in data reporting make the lexical choices less effective. To improve, focus on using precise terminology related to trends, such as 'upward trajectory' or 'remained stable', and ensure that your word choices accurately reflect the data shown in the graph.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'the highest number of jobs that is 20 million was there in manufacturing', which is awkward and lacks precision. Additionally, there are issues with preposition usage and tense consistency, such as 'people in the agriculture field fluctuated... by 12 million to 16 million'. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of errors is noticeable and occasionally distracts from the content. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct prepositional phrases will help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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