Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph depicts the number of employment in four different sectors in the wealth of Us from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, manufacturing jobs accounted highest in the initial stage, although ended slightly below where it started over the period. Healthcare and Retail sectors were continuously increased, in contrast agriculture jobs remained downward by the end of period.

To start with, agriculture and Retail market started with 6 millions jobs in 1960, although agriculture fell to 3 million after 20 years remained constant until 2000, goes down by 2020. There was a major rise in Retail sector jobs which recorded three times more than its initial point with 15 million jobs after four decades in 2000.

In healthcare market number of employments were dramatically soar, in 1960 only 2.5 million jobs, whereas

in 1980 almost doubled in figures, then reached 11 million and continuous to rose by 2020. Manufacturing department had increase of 5 million jobs in 1980, in contrast it dropped to13 million by 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as contrasting the growth in healthcare with the decline in agriculture. However, the report lacks precision in some areas; for example, stating that manufacturing 'ended slightly below where it started' is vague, and the description of the agriculture trend is slightly confusing. To improve, ensure you provide more accurate data points from the graph to support your observations. Overall, you have addressed the requirements of the task well, providing a clear summary of the key features.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'To start with' and 'in contrast', to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. For instance, the transition between the agriculture and retail trends in the third paragraph is a bit abrupt. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider range of linking words more naturally and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus to improve the overall progression of your argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'accounted', 'initial stage', and 'dramatically soar'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'number of employment' (should be 'number of employees' or 'employment figures') and 'manufacturing department' (should be 'manufacturing sector'). Additionally, there are some minor errors in word form, such as 'remained downward'. While these errors do not impede communication, they limit your ability to convey information with precision. Expanding your vocabulary to include more specific reporting verbs and nouns would be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues like 'healthcare and Retail sectors were continuously increased' (should be 'increased continuously') and 'continuous to rose' (should be 'continued to rise'). There are also punctuation and article errors, such as 'in the wealth of Us' and 'dropped to13 million'. While the meaning remains clear, these persistent errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevent the writing from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for tense consistency and subject-verb agreement.

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