Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph depicts the information about the number of jobs in manufacturing, rental, agriculture and healthcare sectors in the US from 1960 to 2020. Noticeably, at the end of the year, fewer jobs were available in Agoro filed.
It is apparent that, in 1960,15 million jobs were there in manufacturing companies, whereas only 2 million people preferred medical filed. Rental and agriculture witnessed similar numbers in terms of job availability, which accounted 6 million. After that, this both showed opposite trends throughout the years. Jobs in rental companies observed upward trends from 10 million in 1980 to 15 million in 2020. In contrast, in agriculture, the figure falls significantly and reached to 2 million by 2020.
In 1980, the figure of manufacturing jobs reached a peak, which was the highest number among all others. Thereafter, the number of jobs declined gradually and stood at 12 million by 2020. Whereas people referenced towards healthcare rose drastically and reached at 15 million, which was the same number as rental.
Overall, it can be observed from the graph that in the beginnings, the highest job availability was observed in manufacturing files, while the lowest was observed in healthcare sector.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides a general overview. However, there are inaccuracies in data reporting. For example, you state that agriculture and rental accounted for 6 million in 1960, but the graph shows different starting points. Additionally, the term 'Agoro filed' is unclear and appears to be a typo for agriculture. While you identify the main trends, the lack of precision in data interpretation prevents a higher score. To improve, ensure that you carefully cross-reference the data points with the axes before writing, and avoid vague terminology.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices like 'In contrast,' 'Thereafter,' and 'Overall,' which assist in linking sentences. However, the flow is occasionally interrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear referencing, such as 'this both showed opposite trends.' The transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is functional, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs could be smoother. Using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring clear pronoun references would strengthen the structure.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'upward trends,' 'declined gradually,' and 'drastically.' However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and spelling issues, such as 'Agoro filed' instead of 'agriculture sector' and 'referenced towards' instead of 'preference for.' Some phrasing is repetitive, and the use of 'filed' instead of 'field' or 'sector' suggests a lack of precision. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and ensure that technical terms are spelled correctly.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as '15 million jobs were there in manufacturing companies' (awkward word order), 'the figure falls significantly' (incorrect tense consistency), and 'reached at 15 million' (incorrect preposition). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but the errors in verb tense and preposition usage are noticeable. To improve, focus on maintaining consistent tense when describing historical data and practice the correct usage of prepositions with verbs of movement.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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