Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph presents a comparision of some jobs in diffrent sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the number of jobs in manufacturing remaind the most popular sector for a long time, despite it decreaded significantly. while agriculture declined slightly . on the other hand retail and healthcare showed an upward trends, with their figures converging at the same level by the end of the period.
In 1960, the manufacturing sector had about 15 number of jobs. The figure increased considerably to 20 in 1980 which was its peak, before felling again to aproximatlly 13 in 2020. Agriculture also showed a downward trend. Its number decreased from about 6 in 1960 to aproximatly 3 in 1980. then remained staible at around 3 in 2000. and finally fluctuated minimally to about 2 in 2020.
In contrast, retail started of around 6 in 1960. the number of occupations jumped considerably to 15 in 2000, and stayed increasing slightly around 16 in 2020. The healthcare sector starting with a figure of about 2 in 1960. the number then rosed to aproximatly 5 in 1980, about 11 in 2000 and ending by 16 in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all key features of the graph, including the trends for all four sectors. You successfully identified the peak for manufacturing and the convergence of retail and healthcare. However, the overview is slightly weak; while it mentions the main trends, it could be more cohesive. The data points are generally accurate, though there are minor issues with precision (e.g., '15 number of jobs' is vague as the unit is not specified). To reach a higher band, ensure that the overview clearly contrasts the declining sectors against the growing ones in a more integrated way, and always include the units of measurement if provided in the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with a clear introduction, overview, and two body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices like 'In contrast' and 'on the other hand' to signal shifts in focus. However, the use of punctuation is inconsistent, which disrupts the flow. For example, starting sentences with lowercase letters after periods (e.g., 'agriculture declined slightly . on the other hand') and fragmented sentences (e.g., 'then remained staible at around 3 in 2000. and finally fluctuated') make the progression feel mechanical rather than fluid. Improving sentence boundary control will significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuated,' 'converging,' and 'upward trends.' However, there are several spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'comparision,' 'diffrent,' 'remaind,' 'decreaded,' 'felling,' 'aproximatlly,' 'staible,' and 'rosed.' These errors are frequent and occasionally distract the reader, although they do not impede overall communication. To improve, focus on proofreading for common spelling patterns and expanding your repertoire of reporting verbs to avoid repeating 'increased' or 'decreased' too often.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb tenses and subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'manufacturing remaind,' 'retail started of,' 'number then rosed'). Additionally, there are issues with sentence fragments and punctuation, such as unnecessary periods mid-sentence. While the meaning remains clear, the high frequency of these errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focus on mastering basic tense consistency and ensuring every sentence has a clear subject and verb.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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