Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates information about the number of jobs in four different sectors (manufacturing, retail ,agriculture and healthcare) in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall , it is evident that manufacturing sector increased significantly over the period and recorded the highest trend while the agriculture sector experienced a downward trend.
In 1960 , manufacturing job market was boosting the economy and provided 15 million of jobs which rose to 20 million in 1980 but decreased steadily in the final year to 13 million. additionally retail sector increased sharply from 6 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020 followed by healthcare which rose from 2 million in 1960 to 17 million in the final year .
In contrast jobs in agriculture market decreased over the period.
initially from 6 million in 1960 it fell steadily to 4 million in 1980 likewise in 2020 it was about 2 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in healthcare and retail versus the decline in agriculture. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; you stated that manufacturing recorded the 'highest trend' and increased significantly, but the graph shows it peaking and then declining, ending lower than both retail and healthcare. Furthermore, the description of the manufacturing trend is factually inconsistent with the provided data. To improve, ensure your overview accurately reflects the final status of the data points and avoid over-generalising trends that fluctuate. The key features are identified, but the analysis lacks the precision required for a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs focusing on different sectors. Cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'likewise', and 'additionally' are used to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel abrupt. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the internal structure of the body paragraphs could be improved by grouping the sectors more logically (e.g., those that grew vs. those that declined) rather than listing them individually. Referencing is generally clear, but the overall progression of ideas could be smoother to enhance readability.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'downward trend', 'steadily', and 'fluctuated'. However, there are some issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'manufacturing job market was boosting the economy' and '15 million of jobs', which is grammatically awkward. The vocabulary is functional but lacks the sophistication or precision needed for higher bands. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations related to data description, such as 'witnessed a sharp rise' or 'experienced a gradual decline', and ensure that nouns and quantifiers are used correctly in context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, including punctuation issues (e.g., spaces before commas), missing articles ('the manufacturing sector'), and awkward phrasing ('15 million of jobs'). While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. You should work on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Additionally, ensure that your sentence structures are varied; while you attempt some complex sentences, they are often marred by minor slips that affect the overall fluency of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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