Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The following line graph illustrates the information regarding the number of jobs in 4 different sector in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the jobs in the sector involving manufacturing and the healthcare have seen a significant decline while the retail and the agriculture related jobs have gotten an nominal incline over the years.

Detailed analysis of the line graph showcases the fluctuation in the number of jobs related to manufacturing as it peaked at 20 million jobs in 1980 but declined till 2020 reaching only 13 million jobs. Similarly, the healthcare sector have also seen a fall from 6 million jobs back in 1960 to 2 million jobs at the end of 2020.

On the other hand, jobs in the agriculture sector have skyrocketed over the years reaching 16 million jobs in 2020 from 2 million jobs back in 1960. Furthermore, the retail sector has also seen a rise in the number of jobs from 6 million jobs in 1960 to a total of 16 million jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for all four sectors. However, there is a significant factual error in the analysis: the text states that manufacturing and healthcare declined, whereas the graph indicates that manufacturing and agriculture were the sectors that changed significantly, and healthcare actually showed a different trend. Furthermore, the description of the trends is somewhat inaccurate regarding the data points provided. To reach a higher band, ensure that the data interpretation is precise and that the overview accurately reflects the most significant trends shown in the visual data.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'Similarly', 'On the other hand', and 'Furthermore' are used to link ideas, although the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is slightly mechanical. The paragraphing is appropriate for a report of this nature. To improve, ensure that the progression of ideas within paragraphs is smoother and that the relationship between the data points is more clearly articulated through more varied cohesive structures.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, with attempts at descriptive language such as 'skyrocketed', 'significant decline', and 'nominal incline'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'nominal incline' (which is contradictory in this context) and 'sector involving manufacturing and the healthcare' (which is grammatically awkward). The use of 'gotten' is too informal for an academic report. Expanding your range of academic collocations and ensuring precise word choice will help improve your score in this criterion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('the healthcare sector have also seen', 'the jobs... have gotten'), and article usage errors ('the healthcare', 'the agriculture'). While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the message, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall fluency. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles will significantly enhance the accuracy of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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