Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates data about the number of jobs in four sectors, namely Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, Healthcare of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the number of jobs in Retail and Healthcare sector experienced upward trend, while number of jobs in Agriculture sector showed downward trend. Moreover, fluctuated trend was observed in Manufacturing sector.

After analysing the graph in detail, it is clear that number of jobs in manufacturing sector was 15 million in 1960 which increased to 20 million in 1980. This was followed by sharp decline throughout the period and reached nearly 14 million in the end of period. In 1960, the number of people employed in 1960 was approximately 6 million in Retail sector which increased to 10 million in 1980 and 15 million in 2000, after that, rose to 16 million in 2020.

In 1960, number of people employed in Healthcare sector was almost 3 million which grew to 5 million in 1960. In 2000, it increased to approximately 11million in 2000 and surged to nearly 16 million in the end of period. In contrast, Agriculture sector was at 6 million in 1960 which declined to almost 4 million in 1980 and remained uniform till the end of period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends effectively. The overview provides a clear summary of the general movements (upward, downward, and fluctuating). However, the report contains some factual inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, you mention the Healthcare sector grew to 5 million in 1960, which is not supported by the graph, and there is a repetitive mention of 1960. Additionally, the description of the Manufacturing sector as having a 'fluctuated trend' is slightly vague given the clear peak and subsequent decline. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points are accurately transcribed and that the comparison between sectors is more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is generally clear. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'In contrast', and 'After analysing', which help guide the reader. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the flow is interrupted by repetitive sentence structures. For example, starting multiple sentences with 'In 1960' or 'In 2000' makes the writing feel a bit list-like. Improving the variety of linking phrases and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, with terms like 'upward trend', 'sharp decline', and 'surged' used appropriately. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'remained uniform' (which is not standard for describing a flat trend; 'remained stable' or 'plateaued' would be better) and 'fluctuated trend'. There are also minor errors in article usage, such as missing 'the' before 'Manufacturing sector'. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary and ensure consistent control over articles and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with article usage (e.g., 'in Retail sector' instead of 'in the retail sector') and missing prepositions. Some sentences are slightly awkward due to these omissions. While you attempt complex structures, the accuracy is inconsistent. To achieve a higher band, focus on correcting basic errors related to articles and subject-verb agreement, and aim for more error-free complex sentences by varying your sentence starters and using relative clauses more effectively.

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