Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph presents a comparison of number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the manufacturing remaind the most popular sector for a long time, despite it decreaded significantly. while agriculture declined slightly. on the other hand retail and healthcare showed an upward trends, by 2020, they had the same number of jobs
In 1960, the manufacturing sector had about 15 million jobs. The figure increased considerably to 20 million in 1980 which was its peak, before falling again to aproximatlly 13 million in 2020. Agriculture also showed a downward trend. Its number decreased from about 6 million in 1960 to approximatly 3 million in 1980. then remained stable at around 3 million in 2000. and finally fluctuated minimally to about 2 million in 2020.
In contrast, retail started at around 6 million in 1960. the number of jobs jumped considerably to 15 million in 2000, and stay increasing slightly around 16 million in 2020. The healthcare sector starting with a figure about 2 million in 1960. the number then rosed to around 5 million in 1980, about 11 million in 2000 and ending by 16 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture versus the growth in retail and healthcare. The overview is clear and highlights the key comparison at the end of the period. However, the report could be improved by providing more precise data comparisons between the sectors at different time intervals. While the main features are present, the analysis is somewhat descriptive rather than analytical, which prevents it from reaching the higher bands. The information is accurate based on the provided graph, and the task requirements are fully met.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. There is a clear progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or inaccurate. For example, the use of punctuation is problematic, with several sentences starting with lowercase letters after periods (e.g., 'while agriculture...', 'on the other hand...', 'then remained...'). Additionally, some transitions are abrupt. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words and ensuring proper sentence boundary punctuation would significantly enhance the flow and coherence of the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to describe trends (e.g., 'upward trends', 'fluctuated minimally', 'downward trend'). There are some spelling errors, such as 'remaind', 'decreaded', 'aproximatlly', and 'rosed' (instead of 'rose'). While the range is sufficient to convey the meaning, the errors in spelling and word formation are noticeable. To reach a higher band, the student should focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring the correct spelling of common descriptive terms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb tenses and sentence punctuation. Examples include 'manufacturing remaind' (tense error), 'it decreaded' (tense/spelling), and 'the healthcare sector starting with' (fragment). The misuse of full stops to separate clauses that should be linked, combined with the lack of capitalization at the start of sentences, indicates a lack of control over basic sentence structure. These errors occur frequently, though they do not completely impede communication.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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