Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates the number of people who joined four different sectors, such as Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Health care, in the US between 1960 and 2020.
The proportion of the graph consists of an 60years record, meaning from 1960 to 2020, in the US, and in the line graph, significantly joined Retail and Health care at last in 2020, but, at first, the highly joined sector was Manufacturing,
In 1980, the sector of manufacturing accommodation reached its high peak of 20 million, and after this, the value of this job was reduced, and so, that's why it fell to 14.5 million. In two sectors, such as Retail and Healthcare, there was a high proportion at last, which means it went from numerous accommodations of 5 million and 2 million to the proportion of 15 million in 2020, which was a significant increase in the proportion.
One sector did not grow, and it went down from the proportion of 5% in 1960, and went down to the proportion 1% accommodation in 2020, which was very bad for the economical growth.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, but the analysis is often unclear or inaccurate. For instance, the description of the trends in the second and third paragraphs is confusing, particularly the use of the term 'accommodations' to refer to job numbers. While you identify the peak of manufacturing and the growth of retail and healthcare, the lack of precision in reporting the data points (e.g., 'numerous accommodations') makes it difficult for the reader to follow the trends. To improve, ensure you clearly state the starting and ending figures for each sector and avoid subjective commentary like 'very bad for the economical growth', which is not required in an objective report.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive start. However, the logical flow between sentences is frequently disrupted by awkward phrasing and repetitive structures. Cohesive devices are used, but they are often mechanical or misused, such as the repetitive use of 'the proportion of' and 'at last'. The transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is abrupt, and the lack of clear signposting makes the progression of ideas feel disjointed. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus that connects logically to the next.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often used incorrectly. You frequently use the word 'accommodations' where 'jobs' or 'employees' would be appropriate, which leads to confusion. Phrases like 'highly joined sector' are not natural collocations in English. There is also a reliance on basic vocabulary, and the attempt to use more formal terms results in inaccuracies that occasionally impede the reader's understanding. To reach a higher band, you should focus on learning topic-specific vocabulary related to graphs and trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'declined', and 'surpassed', and ensure you use them in the correct context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with sentence structure, such as run-on sentences and fragments (e.g., 'meaning from 1960 to 2020...'). Subject-verb agreement and preposition usage are also inconsistent. While you attempt some complex structures, they are often faulty, leading to a lack of control over grammar. To improve, focus on mastering simple sentence structures first to ensure accuracy, then gradually introduce complex sentences. Pay close attention to punctuation and avoid comma splices, which are common in your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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