Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph presents a comparison of number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the manufacturing remained the most popular sector for a long time, despite it decreaded significantly. while agriculture declined slightly. On the other hand retail and healthcare showed an upward trends, by 2020, they had the same number of jobs
In 1960, the manufacturing sector had about 15 million jobs. The figure increased considerably to 20 million in 1980 which was its peak, before falling again to approximately 13 million in 2020. Agriculture also showed a downward trend. Its number decreased from about 6 million in 1960 to approximatly 3 million in 1980. Then remained stable at around 3 million in 2000. And finally fluctuated minimally to about 2 million in 2020.
In contrast, retail started at around 6 million in 1960. The number of jobs jumped considerably to 15 million in 2000, and stay increasing slightly around 16 million in 2020. The healthcare sector starting with a figure about 2 million in 1960. The number then rosed to around 5 million in 1980, about 11 million in 2000 and ending by 16 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as noting that retail and healthcare reached the same level by 2020. However, the overview is slightly hampered by grammatical errors, and some data points could be more precisely described. To improve, ensure that your summary highlights the most significant shifts—such as the dramatic rise of healthcare compared to the decline of manufacturing—more clearly in the introduction or overview paragraph. Overall, you have addressed the requirements of the task well.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is logically organized into paragraphs, with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs for the different sectors. You use some cohesive devices like 'In contrast' and 'On the other hand' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally interrupted by mechanical errors and awkward phrasing, such as the sentence fragment 'while agriculture declined slightly' which should be integrated into the previous sentence. The use of referencing is generally clear, but the transition between sentences could be smoother to improve the overall readability and logical progression.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuated', 'upward trends', and 'considerably'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and incorrect verb forms, such as 'decreaded' (decreased), 'stay increasing' (continued to increase), and 'rosed' (rose). These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit your ability to demonstrate a more sophisticated or precise range of vocabulary. Focusing on correct verb forms and collocations will help you achieve a higher band score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('manufacturing remained', 'healthcare sector starting') and incorrect verb tenses ('decreaded', 'rosed'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some sentences starting with lowercase letters or being fragmented. While these errors rarely prevent the reader from understanding your meaning, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Increasing your focus on proofreading for basic tense and agreement errors would be highly beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.