Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The graph illustrates the number of job holders in four sectors of US economy during 1960 to 2020.
It is noticeable that the most common job in 1960 was manufacturing, while healthcare had the lowest number of people involved. In 2020, healthcare and retail sectors engaged most of the the people.
Looking at the graph in more detail we can see that retail and healthcare sectors improved the number of people joined. In 1960, only 6 millions and 2 million people approximately were doing jobs in retail and healthcare sectors, respectively. These numbers increased to 16 million for both of the sector in 2020.
The manufacturing sector had 15 million people in 1960 which increased to its maximum to approximately 20 million in 1980. But it declined to approximately 13 million in 2020. On the contrary, agriculture sector had approximately 6 million of people engaged but the number decreased to approximately 2 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. You have successfully identified the main features, such as the growth in healthcare and retail and the decline in agriculture and manufacturing. However, the analysis is somewhat basic. To reach a higher band, ensure you make more explicit comparisons between the sectors throughout the report rather than just describing them in isolation. For example, noting that the growth in service-related jobs inversely mirrored the decline in primary and secondary sectors would provide a more sophisticated overview. The data points are generally accurate, though the summary of the 2020 figures could be more precise.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The response is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each focusing on specific sectors. There is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'In 1960', 'In 2020', and 'On the contrary', which help the reader follow the narrative. However, the transition between the second and third paragraphs is a bit abrupt. Using more varied linking phrases or referencing the overall trend more explicitly would improve the flow. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the information is presented in a way that is easy to follow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You have an adequate range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'increased', 'declined', and 'engaged'. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive and lacks the precision required for higher bands. For instance, 'improved the number of people joined' is unnatural; a better phrasing would be 'saw an increase in employment numbers'. There are also minor errors in word choice, such as '6 millions' (should be '6 million') and 'both of the sector' (should be 'both sectors'). To improve, focus on using more precise collocations related to economic data and trends.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are several grammatical errors. For example, 'US economy' should be 'the US economy', and 'the the people' is a repetition error. You also struggle with pluralization after numbers, such as '6 millions' instead of '6 million'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, pay closer attention to articles and subject-verb agreement, and try to incorporate a wider variety of complex sentence structures to demonstrate greater control.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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