Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

This line graph displays the information about size of hiring the workforce in four different sectors of economy in the US. Overall the manufacturing sectors hired dominately in begining while declining over the period and healthcare and retail made a significant equal positive change over the years. However the agriculture sector showed a slight fall across the graph.

In this graph, retail sector which was employing around 7 million people in 1960 and the healthcare with almost 5 million people hiring ahows a major improvement upto 2020 that is 15 million of people. While manufacturing sector , that was the maximum employing sector in 1960 with 15 million showed a peak of 20 million in 1980 and then declined to around 12.5 million people by the year 2020, that is lesser than other two sector of healthcare and retail respectively.

Another fall in the trend can be sighted in agriculture sector that was around 6 million in 1960 then by 1980 fall sharpely to 3 million and gradually to 2 million by 2020. This is the least emplying sector by the year 2020 out of all the four sectors.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have successfully identified the main features of the graph, including the trends for all four sectors. You provided a clear overview and supported your points with data from the graph. However, the response could be improved by ensuring more precise comparisons. For instance, stating that healthcare and retail made an 'equal positive change' is slightly inaccurate as their starting points and trajectories differ. Additionally, some data points, such as the 1980 peak for manufacturing, are well-noted, but the summary would benefit from a more cohesive synthesis of the data rather than listing each sector in isolation. Overall, you have addressed the requirements of the task well.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion-like structure. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'Overall', 'However', and 'While', to connect ideas. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the use of referencing could be more sophisticated. For example, the transition between the second and third paragraphs is a bit abrupt. To improve, try to vary your linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear thematic focus. The paragraphing is appropriate, which helps the reader follow the progression of your argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey your meaning, using terms like 'manufacturing', 'workforce', and 'declined'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choices and non-standard collocations, such as 'size of hiring the workforce' and 'hired dominately'. These errors occasionally make the text sound unnatural. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic collocations and avoid repetitive phrasing. Expanding your vocabulary to include more varied ways to describe trends—such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'surpassed'—would also be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles (e.g., 'in begining', 'in agriculture sector'), subject-verb agreement, and word order (e.g., 'fall sharpely'). Some sentences are slightly cumbersome, such as 'that is lesser than other two sector of healthcare and retail respectively'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do indicate a need for more careful proofreading and a better grasp of English syntax. Focusing on consistent verb tense usage and article placement will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.