Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph compares the information regarding to different kinds of occupation in category of economy in US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, It's is clear that both Manufacturing and Agriculture figures had dramatically decreased after 1980. On the other hand, Retail and Heath-care had increasing trend all over the period.
At the beginning of the period, the highest category was manufacturing almost at 15 million, additionally it slightly increased in 1980 around at 20 million before dramatically decreased in last , eventually in 2020 it approximately some how lower than 15%. While on the other hand, the numbers of the agriculture in 1960 had begin from marginely higher than 5 million before starting dramatically decreased and remain stable over the period till 2020 approximately 2%
Furthermore, the figures of Retails initially higher than 5% in 1960. subsequently it had increasing trend over the period till 2000 afterwards it remain stable till 2020 almost higher than 15%.Moreover, figures of the Healthcare in the starting slightly higher than 0, afterwards its figures rapidly boosted and become equal to Retail in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
You have successfully identified the main trends for all four sectors. However, the response suffers from significant inaccuracies in data reporting. For example, you state that manufacturing was 'almost at 15 million' in 1960, whereas the graph shows it closer to 17-18 million. Furthermore, you frequently confuse units, using percentages (%) when the graph clearly indicates 'millions of jobs'. This inconsistency makes it difficult for the reader to interpret the data accurately. While you provide an overview and cover all categories, the lack of precision in data extraction and the confusion between absolute numbers and percentages prevent this from reaching a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices such as 'On the other hand', 'Furthermore', and 'subsequently'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'While on the other hand' or 'moreover, figures of the Healthcare'. Additionally, there are instances where the flow is interrupted by awkward phrasing, such as 'before dramatically decreased in last , eventually in 2020'. Improving the variety and accuracy of your linking words will help create a smoother progression of ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to describe trends like 'dramatically decreased' and 'rapidly boosted'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors. For example, 'regarding to' is incorrect (should be 'regarding'), and 'marginely' is a misspelling of 'marginally'. You also use 'some how' and 'become equal to', which are informal or imprecise. To improve, focus on using more academic collocations and ensuring that your terminology is precise when describing data trends.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the response contains frequent grammatical errors. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('the numbers of the agriculture... had begin'), incorrect preposition use, and awkward sentence construction ('it's is clear that'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the placement of commas and the use of capital letters in the middle of sentences. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to distract the reader and indicate a lack of control over complex structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.