Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph illustrates the information about the variety of jobs in different four sectors of the economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020. The calibrated has been given in millions.
Overall, the maximum number of jobs can be recorded in the sector of manufacturing, whereas the lowest value was noticed by healthcare.
In 1960, the number of jobs in the field of manufacturing in the US, which was 15 millions and this figure surged rapidly to 20 millions in next two years, after showing increment, it decreased continuously and reached in the mid of 10 to 15 millions in the given period of time.
Around 6 millions of jobs in retail and agriculture sectors. Both figures followed the opposite trend as the field of retail showed an upward trend and agriculture field followed the downward trend and reached at the lowest point, just around 3 millions. In case of healthcare, around 15 millions of jobs can be recorded in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, but the analysis is somewhat superficial. While you identify trends for the four sectors, the description of the data is occasionally inaccurate or vague, such as stating 'the mid of 10 to 15 millions' rather than providing precise data points. Additionally, the overview is slightly inaccurate, as manufacturing was not the highest sector throughout the entire period, and healthcare was not the lowest at the start. To improve, ensure you select the most significant data points and compare them more precisely against the provided graph to support your summary.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs, which provides a basic structure. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is limited and occasionally mechanical, such as the repetitive use of 'the field of' and 'in the given period of time'. The transition between the description of manufacturing and the other sectors is abrupt. To reach a higher band, you should use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, logical focus that flows naturally into the next.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. You rely on basic phrasing like 'number of jobs', 'lowest value', and 'upward trend'. There are some awkward collocations, such as 'the calibrated has been given', which is grammatically incorrect and imprecise. To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a significant decline'. Expanding your range of synonyms will help you avoid repetitive phrasing and demonstrate a more flexible command of the language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. For example, 'the number of jobs... which was 15 millions and this figure surged' is a run-on sentence with incorrect verb usage. Other issues include 'reached in the mid of' and '15 millions' (the plural 's' is unnecessary with numbers). While the meaning is generally understandable, these recurring errors in subject-verb agreement and preposition usage prevent the writing from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic sentence construction and pluralisation rules.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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