Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph illustrates the information about the variety of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the maximum number of jobs in the sector of manufacturing, whereas the healthcare sector in case of jobs was less preferred by the US.
In 1960, the number of jobs in the field of manufacturing in the US, which was 15 million and this figure surged rapidly to 20 million in the next two years, after showing increment, it decreased continuously and reached between 10 to 15 million in the given period of time.
Around 6 million of jobs in retail and agriculture sectors. Both figures followed the opposite trend as the field of retail showed an upward trend and agriculture field followed the downward trend and reached at the lowest point, just around 3 million. In case of healthcare, around 15 million of jobs were recorded in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, but the analysis is somewhat superficial. While you identify the four sectors, the description of the trends is inconsistent. For instance, you mention the manufacturing sector peaked at 20 million but fail to provide a clear overview of the starting and ending points for all categories. The summary of the healthcare sector is also slightly confusing, as you only mention the 2020 figure without comparing it to the start of the period. To improve, ensure you provide a clear overview of the trends for all four sectors and use data points more consistently to support your comparisons.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by awkward phrasing and a lack of cohesive devices. Transitions between sentences are often missing or mechanical, such as the abrupt shift between the manufacturing and retail sections. The use of referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of the data. To reach a higher band, you should use a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'conversely', 'in contrast', 'subsequently') to connect your ideas more fluidly and ensure each paragraph has a clear, unified focus.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. You rely on repetitive phrasing such as 'number of jobs' and 'field of'. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'less preferred by the US', which is not the most natural way to describe economic data. While the meaning is clear, the range of vocabulary is limited. To improve, try to incorporate more varied synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' and use more sophisticated terminology related to economic trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a significant decline'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains several grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading. There are issues with sentence structure, such as the opening sentence of the second paragraph: 'Overall, the maximum number of jobs in the sector of manufacturing, whereas the healthcare sector in case of jobs was less preferred by the US.' This sentence lacks a main verb. Additionally, there are errors in preposition usage and article placement. While you attempt some complex structures, they are often faulty. Focusing on basic sentence construction and ensuring every sentence has a clear subject and verb will significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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