Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph illustrates the information about the variety of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, there was a maximum number of jobs in the sector of manufacturing, whereas the healthcare sector in case of jobs was less preferred by the US.
In 1960, the number of jobs in the field of manufacturing in the US which was 15 million and this figure surged rapidly to 20 million in the next two years, it decreased continuously and reached between 10 to 15 million in the given period of time.
Around 6 million jobs in retail and agriculture sectors. Both figures followed the opposite trend as the field of retail showed an upward trend and agriculture field followed the downward trend and reached at the lowest point, just around 3 million. In case of healthcare, around 15 million jobs were recorded in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, but the analysis is somewhat superficial. While you identify the trends for manufacturing, retail, and agriculture, the description of the healthcare sector is underdeveloped, lacking a clear starting point or trend description. The overview is present but could be more precise; for instance, stating there was a 'maximum number of jobs' in manufacturing is vague without specifying the timeframe. To improve, ensure you provide a more comprehensive overview of the key trends and support all claims with accurate data points from the graph, rather than just mentioning a final figure for healthcare.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow between sentences is occasionally disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes mechanical, such as the repetitive use of 'in the field of' or 'in case of'. The transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is abrupt. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words and phrases (e.g., 'subsequently', 'in contrast', 'meanwhile') to connect your ideas more fluidly. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and that the progression of information follows a logical sequence, such as grouping sectors by their overall trend.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. There is some repetition of basic terms like 'jobs', 'sector', and 'field'. Phrases like 'less preferred by the US' are slightly unnatural in this context; it would be more accurate to describe the data trends (e.g., 'showed the lowest employment figures'). You attempt to use some descriptive verbs like 'surged', which is good, but the overall range remains limited. Focus on using more precise collocations related to data reporting, such as 'experienced a steady decline' or 'remained relatively stable'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that occasionally hinder clarity. For example, the sentence 'In 1960, the number of jobs... which was 15 million and this figure surged...' is grammatically incomplete. Additionally, 'the healthcare sector in case of jobs was less preferred' is awkward. There are also issues with preposition usage and article omission. To improve, focus on sentence construction to ensure every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and proofread carefully to correct basic errors in tense and sentence structure.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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