Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given line graph illustrates the information about the variety of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, there was a peaks of jobs in the sector of manufacturing, whereas the healthcare sector in case of jobs was less preferred by the US.

In 1960, the number of jobs in the field of manufacturing in the US was 15 million and this figure surged rapidly to 20 million in the next two years, it decreased continuously and reached between 10 to 15 million in the given period of time.

Around 6 million jobs in retail and agriculture sectors. Both figures followed the opposite trend as the field of retail showed an upward trend and agriculture field followed the downward trend and reached its the lowest point, just around 3 million. In case of healthcare, around 15 million jobs were recorded in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers the main features of the graph, but the analysis is somewhat superficial. While you identify the sectors and some trends, the description of the data is occasionally imprecise, such as stating manufacturing reached 'between 10 to 15 million' without specifying the end point clearly. Furthermore, the overview is slightly inaccurate; describing healthcare as 'less preferred' is an interpretation that is not supported by the data, which simply shows job numbers. To improve, ensure you focus on reporting the data objectively and provide a more comprehensive summary of the key trends, such as the significant growth in healthcare compared to the decline in agriculture.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is somewhat mechanical. The use of cohesive devices is limited and occasionally awkward, such as 'In case of healthcare' and 'in the given period of time'. The transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is abrupt. To improve, try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more fluidly. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus, and use referencing more effectively to avoid repetitive phrasing like 'the field of' or 'the sector of'.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. There are several instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'a peaks of jobs' and 'in case of jobs was less preferred'. The repetition of 'field of' and 'sector of' limits the sophistication of your writing. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise collocations and a broader range of vocabulary related to describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a steady decline'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally hinder clarity. Examples include 'there was a peaks of jobs' (subject-verb agreement), 'reached its the lowest point' (double article), and 'the healthcare sector in case of jobs was less preferred' (awkward syntax). While the meaning is generally understandable, these errors are noticeable. To improve, focus on basic sentence construction, particularly subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles, before attempting more complex structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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