Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The given line graph illustrates the information about the variety of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, there was a peak of jobs in the sector of manufacturing, whereas the healthcare sector in case of jobs was less preferred by the US.
In 1960, the number of jobs of manufacturing in the US was 15 million and this figure surged rapidly to 20 million in the next two years, it decreased continuously and reached between 10 to 15 million in the given period of time.
Around 6 million jobs were in retail and agriculture sectors. Both figures followed the opposite trend as the field of retail showed an upward trend and agriculture field followed the downward trend and reached its lowest point, just around 3 million. In case of healthcare, this figure started from near 6 million and it declined significantly till 1980 and remained stable in 2000 and around 15 million jobs were recorded in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying trends for all four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and contains inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, stating that healthcare was 'less preferred' is an inappropriate interpretation of economic data, and the description of the healthcare trend is confusing and contradicts the visual evidence of the graph. While the overview is present, the reporting of data points lacks precision, and the comparison between sectors is underdeveloped. To improve, ensure that data is described objectively and that the most significant trends (such as the intersection of lines or major shifts) are highlighted more clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow is somewhat mechanical. While there is an attempt to use cohesive devices like 'whereas' and 'in case of', the transitions between sentences are occasionally abrupt. The paragraphing is functional, but the internal structure of the body paragraph could be improved by grouping related trends more effectively rather than listing them sector by sector. Referencing is generally clear, but the overall progression of ideas feels a bit disjointed, which prevents the response from achieving a higher score in this criterion.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for higher bands. Phrases like 'less preferred by the US' and 'in case of jobs' are unnatural and imprecise in an academic context. There is some attempt to use varied vocabulary such as 'surged', 'declined', and 'stable', which is positive. However, the range is limited, and the word choice is occasionally awkward or repetitive. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations related to data description, such as 'experienced a downward trend' or 'fluctuated significantly'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'the number of jobs of manufacturing' (should be 'jobs in manufacturing') and 'in case of healthcare, this figure started from near 6 million'. Punctuation is generally acceptable, but there are some run-on sentences and minor errors in preposition usage. While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and more accurate prepositional phrases would enhance the clarity and accuracy of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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