Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The date illustrates the number of jobs in four sections of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it is immediately apparent that healthcare sector experienced a significant upward trend, whereas manufacturing sector witnessed a sharp decline in 2020.

Between 1960 and 1980, all three professions , manufacturing jobs, retail and healthcare increased dramatically. And in 1960, manufacturing started from exactly 15 millions and reached to its peak just to 20 millions, and it accounted the vast majority among these years. While healthcare started approximately from 2 millions and surged to just more than 15 million. In addition to that, retail began from around 6 millions and rose to exactly the same level of healthcare which is above 15 million in 2020. Conversely, agriculture sector started from the same point of retail which is just above 5 millions and witnessed a steady decline reaching to approximately 2 millions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview. You covered all four sectors and included relevant data points to support your descriptions. However, there are some inaccuracies in your reporting of the data. For instance, you state that manufacturing reached its peak at 20 million, but the graph shows it peaking earlier and declining significantly by 2020. Additionally, you mention that all three professions increased between 1960 and 1980, but the graph shows agriculture declining throughout the period. To reach a higher band, ensure that your data interpretation is precise and that you consistently distinguish between trends over different time intervals.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is logically organized with a clear introduction, an overview, and a body paragraph. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'In addition to that', and 'Conversely' to link your ideas. However, the paragraphing is slightly unbalanced, as the body paragraph is quite dense. The transition between the overview and the body could be smoother. Additionally, some referencing is slightly mechanical. To improve, try to group your data more effectively into two distinct body paragraphs—perhaps one for sectors that increased and one for those that decreased—to enhance the logical flow of your report.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the main features of the graph, using terms like 'upward trend', 'sharp decline', 'surged', and 'steady decline'. There are some minor errors in word choice, such as 'The date illustrates' (should be 'The graph illustrates') and 'professions' (these are economic sectors, not professions). You also have some awkward phrasing, such as 'reached to its peak just to 20 millions'. While these errors do not impede communication, they prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Focus on using more precise terminology for data reporting and ensuring correct collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'healthcare sector experienced' (missing an article: 'the healthcare sector'), 'it accounted the vast majority' (missing a preposition: 'accounted for'), and 'reached to its peak' (unnecessary preposition). Additionally, there are issues with pluralization, such as '15 millions' (should be '15 million'). While these errors are noticeable, they do not prevent the reader from understanding your main points. To improve, focus on article usage, correct prepositional phrases, and ensuring subject-verb agreement.

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