Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Here, the line graph illustrate the details about the number of jobs in four department of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is clearly visible that retail and healthcare rise period of time. Manufacturing was top in 1960 and slightly rise in 1980 and then it goes to down wards. Agriculture was relatively steady after 1980.

In 1960,agriculture was around 6 million jobs in 1960 and then it slightly decrease around 3 millions jobs in 1980 and then relatively steady from 1980 to 2020. Retail was increas dramatic from 6 millions jobs to 15millions job between 1960 to 2000 and then a slight increas in 2020.

Manufacturing was dominating in 1960 by 15 millions jobs, and then significant increase in 1980 and reach 20 millions jobs after that it was a steady decrease to 2020 and reach around 13 millions jobs. Healthcare was relatively steady amoung other, respectively 1960 to 1980 slight decrease and then relatively steady around 3 millions jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and provides a general overview. However, the reporting of data is inconsistent and contains inaccuracies. For example, you state that manufacturing reached 20 million jobs in 1980, which is not supported by the graph, and your description of healthcare trends is confusing and contradicts the visual data. While you identify main features, the lack of precision in data reporting and the misinterpretation of certain trends limit the effectiveness of the summary. To improve, ensure that every figure and trend mentioned is carefully checked against the graph to avoid factual errors.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'and then'. There are also issues with logical progression; for instance, the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is abrupt. Referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult to track which sector is being discussed at times. To achieve a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for a higher band. You rely on basic descriptors like 'rise', 'steady', and 'decrease'. There are also several word-choice errors, such as 'department' instead of 'sectors' and 'increas' (spelling error). Furthermore, the phrasing 'amoung other' is awkward and does not convey the intended meaning. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained constant', and pay closer attention to word forms and spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

There is a mix of simple and some attempted complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. Frequent errors in subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the line graph illustrate', 'retail and healthcare rise') and tense usage (e.g., 'it goes to down wards') are noticeable. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing around numbers and units. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to distract the reader. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy, such as verb endings and consistent tense usage, will significantly improve the quality of your writing.

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