Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph demonstrates the data of jobs in manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it clearly seems that, employment in manufacturing sector is often higher as compared to other sectors whereas, there is downward trend represent in healthcare. While jobs in retail and agriculture field is increasing over the given period of time.

According to the line data, employment in manufacturing, in 1960 15 million jobs is accounted, which is the highest figures among all sectors. it rose sharply over two decades, reporting 20 million jobs. From 1980, employment decline gradually and accounted about 13 million jobs in 2020. In retail field, in 1960, approximately 6 million jobs are listed and it climbed up sharply till 2000, accounted for 15 million jobs. in 2020, it rose slightly, at just 16 million.

Analyzing the data further, in agriculture sector, similarly, in 1960, it stood at around 3 million jobs and recorded 5 million over two decades. From that its figure jumped up sharply and ending with around 16 million jobs in 2020. Whereas, regarding healthcare sector, in 1960 employment accounted for near by, 6 million, the trend followed downward moment and recorded about 2 million in 2020, which is the lowest figures among all fur sectors.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data interpretation. For example, you state that the healthcare sector shows a 'downward trend' and ends at 2 million, whereas the graph actually shows healthcare rising significantly to become the highest sector by 2020. Similarly, you misidentify the trends for agriculture and retail. While you attempt to report main features, these factual errors mean the information is not accurately summarised. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference your descriptions with the visual data to avoid misrepresenting the trends.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Overall', 'According to the line data', and 'Analyzing the data further', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'From that its figure jumped up'. The referencing is generally clear, though the flow between sentences is occasionally interrupted by grammatical errors. The structure is sufficient for a 6.0, but more sophisticated linking words would improve the overall progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You use a range of vocabulary appropriate for describing trends, such as 'rose sharply', 'climb up', and 'declined gradually'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'accounted about' instead of 'accounted for about', and 'downward moment' instead of 'downward trend'. There are also minor errors in phrasing like 'highest figures among all fur sectors' (typo: four). While the vocabulary is adequate to convey the general meaning, the errors in collocation and the misinterpretation of the data limit the score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that affect clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('15 million jobs is accounted'), missing articles ('in manufacturing sector'), and incorrect preposition usage ('at just 16 million'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary commas used frequently. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and article usage would significantly improve your accuracy.

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